Honey Butter Toast
by KrysSaiyan
Summary: Snapshots in the life of Stephanie, Sportacus, and Robbie. Sequel to Peanut Butter Banana Sandwiches. SportaRobbie and mild PixelSteph.
1. Don't Look Down

**Chapter 1: Don't Look Down**

The day was bright, birds were singing, children outside playing, and the blue air ship floated gently on the breeze. Flowers were blooming, their sweet fragrance perfuming the fresh air, and there was the sun, sending down warm fingers to caress everything.

This would have been the case, Stephanie imagined, if not for the violent storm that rolled in.

She grabbed what stationary object she could as the air ship lurched again, and she felt vaguely nauseous from the constant movement. Normally, the air ship was fairly smooth in the air. You could hardly tell you were high up in the atmosphere.

Again, this was not a normal day.

Stephanie whimpered as her stomach rolled with the ship, suddenly wishing she was with Robbie in his underground home instead. At least the earth didn't rock so badly, even if it was dark. She could handle dark.

Feeling her stomach clench, she grit her teeth and glanced at Sportacus' back. He was trying his hardest to pilot the poor wind-battered ship into a calmer patch of sky, but this just wasn't a good day. She looked away and rolled across the floor (she didn't dare even try to stand), slapping the wall button that opened the bathroom door and crawling to the sink, pulling herself up. She felt her vision swim for a moment, turning colors and fading to black even as her balance failed her and she bent her head over the sink.

Sportacus cringed worriedly at the sounds of retching and redoubled his efforts to get the ship steadier. If he could have, he would have let Stephanie out of the ship and had her stay with Robbie or one of her friends for the duration of the storm. But there hadn't been time, and by now it was too dangerous to even think about getting off the ship. He bit his lip and pointed the ship upward, above the clouds. It messed with the air pressure, but he didn't have much of a choice.

* * *

Stephanie was sprawled out across Robbie's chair a few hours later, much to its owner's irritation. Sportacus was resting momentarily, exhausted from his efforts to first ride out the storm, then anchor the air ship once the storm passed. He needed to do repairs on it, but he needed a quick rest first. His nerves were still frazzled from the storm and he could feel it, just a scant few miles away. He sighed, leaning against the cold pipe.

"Sportacus?" Stephanie piped up. He opened his eyes.

"Yes?"

"You need a regular house."

He laughed weakly at that. Robbie sat on a table, watching the two of them with one arm propped up on his knee and supporting his head.

"I'm surprised he hasn't got one yet," Robbie interjected. Sportacus scoffed lightly.

"You live _underground_ Robbie. I don't think you can talk."

"Regardless," Robbie waved his hand briefly in a "whatever" gesture. "At least _my_ house isn't a blimp, vulnerable to all the elements-"

"We've been over this," Sportacus interrupted. "It's an air ship."

Stephanie watched the two of them banter back and forth, and smiled slightly. If she didn't still feel sick, she'd go over and group hug the both of them. As it was, she curled up in the orange fuzzy chair and closed her eyes, burying her face in the fur. She breathed deeply and noticed the faint smell of Robbie and coconuts. She giggled slightly to herself, amused, and felt comfort wash over her, suddenly feeling tired. It was odd, she thought, that she had come to associate the town's ex-villain with comfort, but she did anyway. In the same way she loved the things she associated with Sportacus, she found herself taking comfort in things she associated with Robbie as well. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep to the background noise of two men talking and the dripping of water through pipes.

* * *

"Oh _wow_!" Stephanie squealed, delighted. She twirled around the empty room, doing an impromptu dance. Sportacus laughed from the doorway.

"You like this room then?" he ventured. Stephanie stopped and grinned at him, rushing over to hug him around the middle.

"I love it!"

Sportacus grinned back at her and ruffled her short hair affectionately, hugging her back.

He owed Robbie horribly now (though, really, Robbie only used "owe" to mean that he wanted attention- he had very little interest in money, surprisingly enough) but the bright grin on Stephanie's face was angelic.

"I have no idea what we're going to do with all this room," he mused. Two bedroom, two bathroom, kitchen, living room. He didn't think he'd ever resided on this much space in his life, and silently wondered at how he was going to utilize all of it.

Stephanie twirled around in the middle of the room again, singing to herself and dancing in the sunlight that shone through the windows.

She'd have to show Trixie, and Pixel, and Ziggy… maybe not Stingy. He could get jealous. But she'd show him eventually. She stopped dancing and paused to consider where furniture was going to go. Bed against the wall, facing the window. Book cases next to it, vanity on the other side… she laughed happily.

Everything was going great.

Within a week, all furniture arrived, and was unpacked, assembled, and moved in. It had really been a group effort. Pixel helped extensively in the beginning, making blueprints for the layout of furniture and then helping with ordering the furniture online. Then once it all arrived, Sportacus brought it into the house, and managed to pull Robbie up from his house to help assemble it all. Sportacus was adept at using a hammer and nails, and simpler things like that, after all he did do modest repairs on the air ship, but some of the components for the larger pieces were too complicated, and Sportacus had never been one for following diagrams very well.

All in all, when it was finished, it was beautiful. Stephanie was delighted, and Sportacus wasn't displeased either. Personally, he almost wished he could have built a turf house perhaps, but… there weren't many hills in Lazy Town anyway, and it would stick out… this house wasn't bad at all.

Besides, at least it was New Year's. The perfect time for moving, he thought. Mentioning the satisfaction to Robbie was a mistake however- the man had promptly wrung more information out of him, in ways that _still_ made him blush to think about. And then even afterwards Robbie still delighted in teasing him about it. It wasn't his fault he preferred moving into a new home on New Year's! It was a cultural thing! But no matter how many times he told Robbie that, it didn't matter.

It was a very good thing that he knew teasing was a form of flirting and seduction, at least when it came to Robbie.

* * *

AN:

AH-HA! You thought I had lied, didn't you? That there would be no sequel? Well too bad. I have it. This is less plot-oriented than PBBS, but a plot does come in later... odd thing that it is. But anyway, this is more focused on... a series of snapshots, if you will. Stephanie is more of the central character (don't cry you, there's still more SportaRobbie than there logically should be) and we get to see a bit more of daily life than the drama-fest that was PBBS.

... as soon as I say that I realize that next chapter is all angsty and drama-filled. Lovely.

I _was_ going to post it later, once I had all the kinks worked out and the last couple of chapters pounded out. But I check this section every day and the only SportaRobbie I see is Kami's fics and A Slippery Slope? Shameful. I had to remedy it.

Well, that and I was starving for reviews. My House M.D. oneshot only got 3. Sadness.

Ah, the New Year's thing! I need to explain that. I read awhile back about folk legends in Iceland about elves, aaaand there's this thing where it's believed that elves change residence on New Year's Eve. You can sit in the middle of the road (who sits in the middle of the road at night in Iceland when it's winter?) and block their way, and they'll offer you bribes to move... but as long as you stay put and don't say a word, they can't do anything and in the morning you'll have all this treasure to take back. If you talk... well, you lose your mind and get nothing. Whee! I just kinda borrowed and tweaked the general concept. I do love elfy Sportacus.

The chapter titles are David Bowie songs. Random, I know. But I've taken a liking to using them as chapter titles, because there's so many to pick from and I can find anything that fits.

Ah, this is long enough. Leave reviews please! Enjoy.


	2. Hang on to Yourself

**Chapter 2:** **Hang on to Yourself**

Stephanie sighed, throwing her mechanical pencil onto the table and leaning back. Homework was impossible. She hated it. And the house was too quiet. She frowned.

It was _always_ too quiet.

Stephanie loved the house, and loved being able to just walk outside without that small fear in the back of her mind that she would slip and fall climbing down a ladder… but Sportacus was gone in the air ship most of the day, patrolling. She didn't mind it. It's just that the place got lonely when he wasn't there, filling it up with energy. She walked over to the fridge and grabbed an apple out of it, sitting on the table and munching away. For the first time in a long time, she thought about her family.

It wasn't that big of a deal, being alone. When she had been younger, she had stayed with her grandparents when her parents left on trips. They were fond of trips. Then when she got older, she stayed with her uncle.

That still hurt.

Her uncle had been so nice, even if he was bumbling and clueless half the time. He had a good heart. As good as Sportacus. She sighed and tossed the apple core in the trash.

But really. She was twelve years old now. She couldn't be focusing on things like that anymore. It was a long time ago, and really, this wasn't bad at all. If she didn't have Sportacus then-

_'No wonder no one wants you.'_

She shivered, rubbing her arms. Well, there was no use in dwelling on it, at any rate. They hadn't been screened properly, that was obvious, and the next time a social worker came to check on her, she would have been removed from there and put somewhere else. If there hadn't been anyone else, she would have been sent to an orphanage. If she ran away, she would have been in huge trouble. She didn't doubt that there were more people out there like the ones who kidnapped her.

"Ugh!" she grunted in frustration at herself and kicked a chair. Why was she dwelling on these depressing things? She glared at the half-finished homework laying innocently on the table, and stormed off to her room to clear her head. Maybe a break was in order.

She was pulling her stereo out when a thought occurred to her, and she grinned brightly. She put on her shoes, grabbed her set of keys, scribbled out a note to Sportacus, and dashed out of the house, locking it behind her (though there was hardly a need, the town was so small and quiet).

* * *

Robbie Rotten was not having a good day.

He smashed another stubborn machine with his hammer. Useless. It wasn't going to chase away the phantom smell or the touches.

Bad dreams were uncommon for the man, but when they hit, they hit _hard_. He had not appreciated his sleep being disturbed by bad dreams of that place, or that man. It was bad enough when he dreamt of being small again. It was an entirely different matter when he was helpless even as an adult, and even worse when the perspective shifted abruptly, and he was the adult and a pink haired child took his place.

He didn't think he would ever stop retching after waking, but he did, and shakily stood up immediately afterwards and went straight for the alcohol.

Normally he didn't drink. It made him woozy and disoriented and that was not a good thing when you work with dangerous machines. But the bubblegum flavored schnapps made it easy, and there were rare moments when he just really needed to forget.

The sweet alcohol smell also served in erasing the scent of sweat and cologne from his nose.

Unfortunately, fate was not smiling on him this day.

Stephanie popped her head out of the pipe and spotted Robbie smashing things. She grinned, thinking it was the usual deal with him, and she rolled out of the pipe expertly, landing on her feet and plopping down in the orange chair with a giggle. She grinned wider when the banging stopped, knowing Robbie had heard her. Her expectation was this: Robbie would creep up behind the chair, lean over and block out the light, and ask her if she knew whose chair that was, and she would giggle and shake her head no, and Robbie would shrug, telling her to let him know when she found his pet slugs, if they were in there, and she'd make a show of squealing and jumping out of the chair, pinching Robbie for teasing her so. This was her expectation- normalcy.

Unfortunately, fate was not smiling on her either.

Robbie did indeed lean over the side of the chair. She looked up at him innocently, her eyes full of mirth, and his stomach churned.

"Out," he said dully. Her face fell, confused.

"Huh?"

"_Out_, brat," he repeated. Stephanie suddenly felt worried. He hadn't called her brat in a very long time.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, sitting up. Robbie's face had contorted in some indescribable emotion, and he roughly picked her up by the back of the shirt, pulling her up off the chair and dragging her back to the pipe.

"I said out."

"There _is_ something wrong!" she asserted, whirling around to face him. "Tell me!"

Robbie rubbed his temples.

"Why," he muttered, so low that Stephanie could barely hear him. "Why is it that when you tell these brats something, they just don't obey?"

"Because I'm worried about you Robbie!"

Robbie looked up then, and she swore her heart froze. He was looking down at her with such a blank, cold, angry stare that she wanted to scream and cry and erase it from his face. It was like looking into the eyes of a stranger.

Robbie was slowly becoming furious.

"Worried," he mused. His speech was mildly slurred. "A little girl is worried about me. A grown man." There was a pause. "Of course, no one respects me… that's why. I'm a grown man and I can take care of myself. But no one _gets_ it. I don't _need_ anyone to worry about me, brat." He leaned down, too close to her face, and Stephanie's wide brown eyes got wider.

"Especially not _you_."

She fled then, up the pipe, close to tears. There was something wrong, but it didn't register in her brain. What registered was the thought that formed somewhere between a self-centered youth, and a socially-oriented young adult. Robbie just rejected her. And it was her fault. She had done something wrong. She ran to the house and collapsed on her bed, crying her heart out. Above Lazy Town, a sports elf's crystal blinked.

Robbie grabbed the half empty bottle and took huge gulps. It made his throat burn, but it felt good. The burn felt like punishment, which he sorely needed. And the wave of numbness afterwards felt good too. He collapsed in his chair, staring at nothing and thinking about nothing, nursing the bottle.

* * *

Sportacus leapt down from his ship and opened the door, doing slow cartwheels to Stephanie's room and then straightening up, peeking in. He knocked on the partially opened door.

"Stephanie?" he inquired. Stephanie shuddered, her face buried and hidden in a pillow. She had already messed up with Robbie. She didn't want to do something wrong with Sportacus too. Maybe today just wasn't her day. She didn't say anything.

Sportacus frowned, worried, and stepped into the room, sitting down on the edge of her bed and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey-" he started, and flinched backward, blue eyes wide, when she shrugged his hand off.

"Something _is_ wrong," he murmured. Stephanie's shoulders tightened, and he could see her fists clench.

"Nothing is wrong," Stephanie replied, attempting to keep the wavering out of her voice. Sportacus frowned again, determined.

"Yes there is," he said and crossed his arms. "And I'm not moving until you tell me."

Stephanie felt something in her heart break and she wanted to scream, tears catching in her throat and burning.

"_Why am I so **stupid**?!_" she sobbed into the pillow, hands coming up and yanking on her hair in frustration. Sportacus inhaled sharply, and grabbed her wrists.

"No, you're not," he told her calmly, though he was anything but calm. What in the world happened?

"Robbie _hates_ me!" she bawled out after a minute, and finally gave in to the impulse. She got on her knees and clung to Sportacus, biting back sobs that made her small frame shake. Sportacus automatically wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Shh," he said. "What happened? It's alright Steph."

She hiccupped, rubbing at her eyes.

"I was bored," she started. "So… so I wanted to go see Robbie. And I did, but when I went there-" she broke off, her eyes watering again and she had to collect herself and push on. "He was really mad. He didn't want me. He said to get out, and he… he called me 'brat', and he hasn't done that in forever Sportacus! I must have done something wrong, I know it, and now he hates me and…" she dissolved into incoherent crying again, and Sportacus continued comforting her as best he could while forming a plan. After a few minutes, her sniffling subsided enough that he pulled her back and looked her in the face, wiping stray tears from it.

"I'm going to talk to him. Something is definitely wrong. Will you be alright by yourself?" he asked. Stephanie smiled weakly.

"I'm not a little kid," she defended. The sports elf grinned at her and ruffled her hair.

"I know," he replied, standing up. "I just thought I'd check. I'll be right back." And with that, he wooshed out the door and toward a rather interesting billboard.

* * *

There was one thing Robbie disliked about alcohol, besides the part where it made you disoriented. It kept him awake. He thought it was supposed to knock you out, but apparently, it didn't. He had been lounging in his orange chair for the good portion of an hour, and he still hadn't fallen asleep. It was ridiculous. He lifted the empty bottle up and glared at it.

"Useless," he muttered, and let it drop to the ground and roll off somewhere. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a little voice telling him that it definitely wasn't good to binge drink like this, but he honestly didn't care. He missed the old days. Where he could sleep all day and eat cake and people listened to him.

His mind was hazy, but it still worked just as much.

He stared at a wall, thinking. He really shouldn't be surprised. Of course no one listened to him. He was pet to an elf and pixie. They dragged him around everywhere and made a show of it, 'Look who finally decided to join the party!', as if he really _were_ a pet.

He stomped on hurt emotions that started bubbling up when he recalled that that's what he was here for. It really didn't matter. He was everyone's plaything; he just had to wait for them to get tired of him. That's what it was. But he'd be damned if he let it hurt him.

He suddenly wished he had more alcohol. What sounded good? He had heard rum came in flavors, maybe they had something sweet…

He didn't even look over when he hear the clanging and wooshing sound associated with someone coming in through the pipes. He had back entrances. But those remained his secret alone. He smiled vaguely at his own private trick. He knew who it was anyway, he didn't need to look. Only one person besides the pixie would come in so blatantly, and that was the _blue_ pixie. Elf. Whichever. They were close enough. He scowled. Of course he would just come barging in. Not even knock.

He felt mildly nauseous when the concept of being owned somehow slipped into his mind, but he still didn't look.

Sportacus straightened up after rolling out of the pipe, adjusting his goggles. Robbie was there on his favorite chair, slouched over and staring blankly at a wall. Sportacus wanted to be angry with the man for upsetting Stephanie. It would be easier, because then there'd just be yelling for a little while and then of course Robbie would concede, in his own way, and everything would go back to normal.

Of course, with Robbie, nothing was ever simple. He had resigned himself to that a long time ago.

He walked forward a little but stayed some distance away from Robbie, leaning against a table and sighing loudly. Still no response from Robbie.

"What happened?" he started. His voice echoed slightly in the large empty space, disrupting the quiet. Robbie still didn't so much as blink. Sportacus was trying hard to not get frustrated.

"Stephanie came home crying," he continued. "She says you hate her now, and you yelled at her. I know you don't hate her, so what's going on? She loves you, you know. Why are you doing this now?"

"You're all so damn stupid," Robbie muttered, not moving any muscle more than it required for talking. "What did you think would happen if you hung around me? It's good to be bad," and with that he finally moved, scooping up the bottle from the floor and draining it of the last few drops before a bracer-clad arm snatched it away.

"Drinking," the elf said flatly. "Classy, Robbie."

"What can I say?" Robbie grinned maliciously. "I'm a classy guy."

"So what happened?"

"You'd have to ply me with more than a bottle, elf. Unfortunately, honey doesn't do it for me."

Sportacus scowled at Robbie, irritated, but placed the empty bottle down out of reach.

"I'm not plying you with anything," he replied.

"Pity," Robbie interrupted, losing interest.

"You're going to tell me because I care about you."

At that point, Robbie's eyes did move, and swung to the side to focus straight on him.

"You don't," Robbie asserted. "I know what I am."

"And what's that?"

"A toy."

Sportacus lost his temper and abruptly stalked away, hands clenched at his sides. Robbie watched in a half-amused way, still floating rather nicely on the alcohol buzz. Sportacus paced three times back and forth across the room, stiffly, before he swung back around and came at Robbie, staring at him straight in the eyes.

"How many times do you want me to tell you you're wrong?" the sports elf said bluntly. Robbie smiled dreamily at him.

"I don't care," he replied simply, enjoying it immensely when he could see the visible strain in Sportacus.

"You're not a toy," Sportacus said. Robbie frowned slightly. Wrong answer.

"I am," he said. "What else would I be? Don't be so stupid."

"That's what you think?"

"That's what I _know_."

Sportacus grit his teeth.

* * *

Stephanie had intended to stay put. But she wanted to know, desperately, what was going on, and not just get it second-hand. She wanted to grow up, and she wanted to help her friend, her brother, her second dad. She knew something was wrong, and damn if she wasn't going to find out.

No one noticed her crouched just inside the pipe, listening intently.

"Robbie," Sportacus started slowly, trying to not yell. "You're wrong."

"You can keep saying it," Robbie mused, glancing around for another bottle, though none existed.

"I'm going to keep saying it until you know it's true!"

"You do that."

"DAMN IT Robbie!"

Stephanie flinched at the sound and curled up tighter in the pipe.

Robbie gazed serenely at the sports elf.

"You want to know why I kicked the pink sprite out and made her cry?"

"Because you're drunk and something upset you," Sportacus answered. Robbie chuckled.

"Yes," he replied. "But the reason behind that. You want to know, right?"

Sportacus was silent, so he continued.

"I'm going to hurt the little thing. I'd rather not. I'd rather not have to worry about whether or not I'm the _same_ as that. She's a cute kid. Even I know that. She's an angel, and when I look at her, I know it. But I'm _corrupting_ her. Why the hell you let me stay around her I don't know. I'm only going to hurt her." Robbie laughed.

"I had a dream again," he continued, the alcohol loosening his tongue. "I wasn't little. But he was still there, and I still couldn't do anything. But then, all of a sudden, swoosh! I'm not the one helpless anymore. It's _her_."

Stephanie felt her eyes fill up with tears for the second time that day. She put hands over her mouth as a reminder, 'don't make a sound,' and listened. There was silence for a moment.

"Which do you think would hurt Stephanie more?" Sportacus was saying quietly. "Pushing her away after all this time? You've done nothing but good for her, and you should _know_ that by now Robbie-"

"_You're_ not the one who has to deal with this you goddamn smug elf!" Robbie was gearing up for a fit, she could tell from the tone.

"You didn't have to deal with bad dreams, waking up in the middle of the night and remembering what you did and puking your guts out! So don't you _dare_ give me a lecture! Do you not _get_ it? It's my goddamn _name_! Rotten! And everything around me will get that way if I let it, so don't you dare! Don't tell me I'm good! I know better! I'd rather die here than hurt that girl, and if I _have_ to, I will! And you won't stop me!"

Stephanie couldn't take it anymore. She bolted from the pipe. Robbie was standing, looming over Sportacus, who was looking close enough to tears himself, but still determined. She tackled Robbie fully, arms encircling his waist and holding on for dear life. She heard Robbie scream in fury and felt him try to pry her off, but she clung with every ounce of strength in her.

"Stop it!" she screamed back, eyes clenched shut. "Stop!"

"_Get off!_"

"You're not bad!" she kept going, crying openly. "You're not! I know who you are, Robbie Rotten! You're not bad! You're a good person!"

"_Stop it!_" it was Robbie who said it this time. "Get off!"

"Tell me!" she cried. "Just _stop it_ and tell me what's wrong!"

Sportacus stood, frozen for the moment. He felt that sinking feeling that was telling him he was useless at the moment, and he stayed silent, ready to move in when the both of them collapsed.

"I'm not telling _anyone_ about _anything_!" Robbie yelled, trying alternately to pry her off and get away from her. "What do you care?! What do either of you care?!"

There it was.

Sportacus pushed him backwards and the three of them collapsed onto the chair. Robbie was screaming and a breath away from thrashing like a madman, Stephanie was determinedly attached to his middle, and Sportacus had his arms pinned and was leaning over the both of them.

"We're all messed up!" Sportacus yelled over the noise. "Is that what you want to hear?! Who's the one who doesn't know anything Robbie?!" Stephanie was sobbing loudly.

"What's wrong?" she cried. "Please, please, just say what's wrong…" Robbie felt his breaking point getting close, but he was still going full-steam ahead and didn't give a damn about consequences. He opened his mouth to tell them all to just _fuck off_, but stopped midway through. With the girl pressed against him and Sportacus pinning his arms, he felt trapped. Suffocated. A memory slashed across his mind and his eyes dilated sharply.

Stephanie opened her eyes and looked up when she felt Robbie's body stiffen.

He'd stopped breathing. Her eyes widened at the same time as Sportacus.

"Robbie!" he cried out, and released him. He shook the lean man. "Breathe!"

Robbie abruptly did, gasping for air and hyperventilating, trembling. Sportacus was nearly crying but still trying to stay strong, Robbie looked terrified and confused, and Stephanie had never been so scared in her short life. She squirmed her way into the chair next to Robbie, hugging him and holding him still while he shook and Sportacus was trying to get him to breathe properly and not pass out. A wave of calm passed over her, and she wrote it off as her being past her breaking point. She couldn't cry anymore. She felt empty. But she could still be useful to Robbie.

"It's okay," she whispered. She wasn't sure he could hear her over his own harsh panting. "It's okay Robbie. We do love you. Even if you're scared or mad. It's okay. I promise."

She heard a low keening wail from above her head, but she kept her eyes closed and her head against Robbie's torso as his breathing hitched and evened out, eventually passing straight into the heavy deep breathing of the unconscious. Only then did she open her eyes.

Sportacus was next to the chair, rubbing his temples with one hand and the other holding Robbie's closest hand. Stephanie shifted, lifting her head.

"Sportacus?" she whispered. The elf looked up, not managing to summon a smile for her.

"Yes?"

"I think we need to love Robbie more." There was a pause before Sportacus started laughing quietly.

"I don't think I can love him any more than I do, Steph," he whispered back to her. She smiled at him.

"Me neither," she confided. "But he doesn't know that. I think we need to hug all the bad dreams out of him."

Sportacus smiled, held out his hand, and she placed hers on top of his. It was a pact.

* * *

"This is _so_ not necessary," Robbie complained. Stephanie shrugged.

"You're the one who's feeling all unloved," she quipped. Robbie growled at her and thrashed as much as he could while being carried over the shoulder of a sports elf.

"Brat," he hissed.

"Both of you behave," Sportacus spoke up. He kicked open the door to their house and immediately deposited Robbie on the sofa in the living room. Stephanie closed the door behind them and rushed to Robbie's side, curling up there. Robbie whined in protest and tried to scoot away, but she was undeterred.

"Whatever you two are planning, I refuse," he said.

"Too late," Sportacus replied, tilting his head to read the titles of movies lined up on the shelf and finally plucking one from its place. Stephanie cheered.

"What is it?" Robbie asked nervously, suspicious of whatever it was.

"Shh," Stephanie shushed him. "It's a movie."

"I knew that, I wanna know-"

"Shhh!"

He huffed, crossing his arms and slouching further. Stephanie used the opportunity to tickle his sides, which resulted in a loud yelp and Robbie scrambling to get away. Sportacus caught the man easily and deposited him back on the couch.

"Stephanie, be nice," he warned. She giggled in a unrepentant way, but kept her hands to herself. Sportacus put the movie in and then propped himself up on the couch next to Robbie, on the opposite side from Stephanie. Robbie narrowed his eyes.

"You're trying to pin me," he accused.

"Yep."

Robbie huffed, but didn't protest further, more curious as to what the movie was.

At some point during the movie, Stephanie slid down and rested her head on Robbie's lap. Robbie didn't know where to put his hands and ended up sitting absolutely straight for a good ten minutes before Sportacus took pity on him and grabbed him by the shoulders, dragging him close enough to lean against the sports elf. Robbie shuddered slightly. He knew he really didn't deserve any of this…

Then again, that never stopped him from taking things before. He sighed and let the tension go.

* * *

AN:

Aaaaangst. You know you were waiting for it. As usual, I try to weave back and forth between humor and fluff and "serious" stuff.

The bubblegum flavored schnapps was inspired by Denis Leary. I think.

Ah, yeah. Robbie still has issues. Love doesn't make everything sunshine and butterflies. But it does help. Stephanie takes everything personally, and it only compounds the issue because she doesn't even know what the cause of all of Robbie's stress is. She just knows she tends to trigger it. And Sportacus so isn't used to dealing with this stuff. Poor elf is only gonna get more confused from here on out. He's gotten better at sitting still though. Practically a requirement for interacting with Robbie.

Fast enough update? XD Hope you guys enjoyed.


	3. 5:15 The Angels Have Gone

**Chapter 3: 5:15 The Angels Have Gone**

"Stephanie!"

Stephanie looked up from her garden and grinned, waving at her friends who gathered at the gate. She stood up and brushed the dirt off of herself, running over to them.

"What's up guys?" she chirped. Trixie waved a Frisbee in her face.

"Come on! We're going to play!"

"I have homework," Pixel whined.

"Oh, you can do it later," Stingy argued, eyeing the Frisbee greedily. Stephanie smiled encouragingly at Pixel and he seemed to change his mind, and the lot of them ran toward the sports field for a much-needed break.

Meanwhile, a slightly above average hero was watching them from high up in the air, smiling happily. He stood up from where he had been crouched down on the door, stretching his arms above his head. Two arms encircled his exposed torso and he grinned.

"Hello," the elf said.

"Mm," Robbie replied, resting his head on top of the sports elf's. "Let me guess. There's children being noisy again."

Sportacus laughed, leaning back into Robbie.

"You're good at guessing."

"I'm good at a _lot_ of things."

"Let's go play!" Sportacus suggested happily. Robbie kissed the back of his neck.

"Sure," he growled.

* * *

Unfortunately, he had an entirely different definition of "play" from the sports elf.

He found himself sulking on a bench while watching Sportacus and the children play soccer. He groaned and laid down on the bench, knowing that trying to nap was futile with all this noise, but determining that he could _rest_ anyway.

Leave it to a sports elf to be oblivious to what Robbie considered "fun".

Ziggy noticed Robbie first, and snuck out of the game to get a closer look at what the villain was up to. Robbie hadn't done anything recently, but… that almost made it _more_ suspicious. Over the last couple of years, the man had seemed friendlier (at least as much as possible, for Robbie Rotten) and been outside a little more often… but why? This was something Ziggy contemplated from time to time, along with why Trixie was so rough and why Stephanie had one day suddenly transformed from little girl to preteen with almost no transition period at all. Truthfully, Ziggy thought about a lot of things in his spare time, though, still being a child, he failed to grasp a good portion of it. Regardless, he thought about why Robbie Rotten was being more social than was usual, and could not come up with a reason why. He crept closer, and cautiously touched Robbie's arm. Robbie opened one eye and glared, which nearly made the poor boy lose his nerve entirely.

"What do _you_ want?" Robbie muttered. Ziggy fidgeted, but tried to stay determined.

"I, I was just wondering… what are you doing out here Robbie? I mean, shouldn't you be in your house, sleeping, or plotting to kick Sportacus out, or-"

He was interrupted by Robbie pointing over to Sportacus, who was grinning happily as he did tricks with the soccer ball.

"Ask Mr. Happy over there," Robbie replied. Ziggy's young face contorted in confusion.

"You mean Sportacus?"

Robbie was about to respond with "No, the _other_ ridiculously happy shorter-than-average elf over in that direction," but Ziggy continued.

"What does Sportacus have to do with you being outside?"

Robbie stopped and looked at Ziggy carefully. The kid was a pain, and adored Sportacus more than anyone else. At the moment, he was looking at Robbie with innocent confusion, genuinely baffled and trying to figure it out.

"What I meant to say is that I'm out here looking for my pet velociraptor," he amended. He nearly smiled when Ziggy's eyes got ridiculously wide with shock and wonder.

"_Really?_" he breathed. Robbie nodded and waved his hand dramatically.

"Lost him a couple of hours ago. I figure he'll show up eventually." Ziggy glanced around nervously, biting his lower lip.

"Does… does he eat people?"

"Oh, yes," Robbie answered casually, barely keeping a straight face. "Here. Have a caramel." He pulled a wrapped caramel piece from his pocket and pressed it into the terrified boy's hands and waved him off. Ziggy remained frozen for a moment more before he headed straight for the safety of Sportacus. Robbie grinned and closed his eyes again. Ah. It felt good to be bad.

* * *

Hours later, the kids were all gathered in Pixel's room playing video games as a wind-down from the game earlier. Sportacus and Robbie had disappeared afterward.

There were only two players at once, so Stingy and Trixie were battling each other on the screen while Pixel was tweaking a computer at his desk, Stephanie was watching the game and alternately cheering on her friends, and Ziggy was chewing on the caramel.

And thinking.

He swallowed the last bit of sticky sweet and hesitantly spoke up.

"Hey guys?" he started. When no one answered, he just kept going. "Do you think Robbie is acting weird lately?"

_That_ got the attention of Stephanie and Pixel, though the other two remained at least mostly absorbed in their game.

"Weird?" Stephanie asked. "Like how?"

"Well, like, he used to _never_ come out and hang around where we're playing, and he hasn't tried to get Sportacus kicked out in _ages_," he explained rapidly. He missed the look Stephanie exchanged with Pixel, too worried to pay much attention.

The idea of a velociraptor on the loose was fairly distracting.

"I think he's just changing Ziggy," Pixel finally said. "Don't worry so much."

"But!" Ziggy protested. "But what if he's just planning something really mean and waiting to catch us off guard?"

Stephanie almost laughed, but Trixie spoke up first.

"Hey, yeah!" she said, setting down her controller. The round was over in the game, though Stingy was still compulsively clinging to the controller. "What if Ziggy's right? Robbie Rotten _always_ tries to keep us from playing! Why hasn't he tried to do anything lately?"

The smile faded a bit from Stephanie's face.

"Look guys," she said. "He's really not up to anything. Him and Sportacus… they understand each other now, that's all." That was part of the truth, anyway.

"I don't know," Stingy interjected. "Robbie's pretty tricky."

"He's not up to anything!" Stephanie replied, frustrated. Trixie picked up on it fairly quickly and couldn't help but provoke it.

"Woah now," the pig-tailed girl grinned. "No need to get defensive Pinky. We won't insult your boyfriend anymore." Stephanie thought she might see red.

"Don't even joke!" she yelled. Ziggy's eyes widened and Pixel looked up from the machine he was messing with. Stephanie never yelled.

"And stop making fun of him!" she continued. "He's really nice when you give him a chance and don't just try to annoy him!"

Trixie backed off, slumping back down into her seat on the couch and fiddling with the controller. Stingy blinked at Stephanie curiously.

"How do you know?" he asked simply. Stephanie huffed.

"Because I've hung out with him for awhile," she answered. "Besides, Sportacus trusts him."

"Sportacus trusts everyone," Stingy pointed out. Trixie aimed a kick at him to drop it already, but she missed.

"What makes you so sure?" he continued. Ziggy remembered something.

"Robbie said…" he started quietly. All eyes in the room focused on him and he tried to remember to keep his nerve. "Robbie said it was Sportacus' fault that he was outside so much now. I don't know what he meant."

"Hmmm," Stingy scratched the side of his face in thought. "Interesting." Trixie rolled her eyes.

"Can we just get back to playing?"

Stingy jumped off the couch.

"Someone else can have a turn," he said, and sat down next to Ziggy. Stephanie looked at him suspiciously for a moment before she sat down and grabbed the free controller.

* * *

A half hour later, Stingy decided he had figured it out. Pixel was showing Stephanie how to do a really cool move in the game, Trixie was still playing, and Ziggy was drawing on some printer paper with some of Pixel's highlighters and markers.

"I got it," he said. The other kids looked up curiously at him. "I know why Robbie is being so nice."

Stephanie rolled her eyes and Pixel looked apprehensive.

"He's not planning anything Stingy," Stephanie said, irritated with her friend.

"Maybe," Stingy conceded. "I thought about that. He would have done something already if he was planning anything. But I figured it out." He grinned, delighted to have everyone's attention for the moment. "Robbie's trying to impress Sportacus."

There was a moment of silence before Trixie started laughing so hard she nearly fell off the couch. Stephanie and Pixel were oddly quiet, and Ziggy simply tilted his head, uncomprehending of what was funny about it.

"See, see, I figured it out!" Stingy continued, eager to impress. "I read in my comic books! Robbie's the villain, right? And Sportacus is the hero. Well, in all the stories, the villains are all just jealous of the heroes, right?" Trixie calmed down enough to listen again, still giggling quietly. "Well, that means that Robbie has been jealous of Sportacus. But! But because he hasn't tried anything mean lately, I think maybe it changed into something else." He lowered his voice to a conspiratory whisper. "I think Robbie _likes_ Sportacus."

Trixie couldn't take it anymore and _did_ fall off the couch this time, clutching her sides. Stephanie's face got closed and she bit her lip. Pixel didn't seem to have any expression whatsoever, and Ziggy was looking as confused as ever.

"He…" Trixie hiccupped with laughter. "He _likes_ Sportacus!" She kicked her legs helplessly, rolling on the floor. Stephanie's face grew darker and more troubled.

"So what if he does?" she challenged. Trixie grew more serious, though she still giggled slightly. She sat up.

"It's _funny_ Pinky," she asserted. "I mean, try to imagine it!" Pixel was torn between wanting to tune them all out with another video game, or grab Stephanie's hand to reassure her. As it was he fidgeted nervously. Trixie kept going.

"Oh man, poor Robbie!" Trixie laughed again. "Trying to impress Sportacus! Unrequited love!" She made an exaggerated smooching face. "Oh Sportadork I love you kiss me!"

Even Stingy felt the sudden change in atmosphere.

"What if Sportacus liked him back?" Stephanie added quietly. She had her head tilted down. Pixel nervously reached out and touched her hand, and to his relief, she quickly threaded her fingers in his. She still didn't look up however. Trixie stopped laughing.

"Whaddya mean, 'what if Sportacus liked him back'? There's no _way_ Sportacus could like him!" Seeing no response from her pink-haired friend, she kept going. "I mean, it's Robbie Rotten! He's grumpy and sleeps all day and eats nothing but junk food. And he isn't exactly cute or anything you know. I bet he's too lazy to even bathe regularly." Trixie laughed shortly and stuck her tongue out in disgust. Stingy spoke up quietly, even though he knew he had opened up something bad.

"In my comic books," he told the quiet room. "The hero never falls in love with the villain." He paused, and blinked, looking up at Stephanie. "In all the stories, the hero always falls in love with the pretty girl."

"That's horrible," Stephanie said, her voice wavering. Pixel's eyes widened in worry and he gripped her hand tighter. "It's horrible," she repeated. "You just presume things like that. You don't know anything." Trixie bristled at this and stood up.

"And what do _you_ know, huh?"

Ziggy dropped the markers and rushed over, creating a barrier between the advancing Trixie and Stephanie.

"No fighting!" he pleaded. "We're friends! No fighting!"

"She's keeping _secrets_!" Trixie accused, her eyes blazing.

"Leave her alone!" Pixel finally spoke up, though his voice wavered. He really wanted to retreat into his computers. Computers never yelled at you, and computers were _far_ less complicated than relationships between people. But he gripped Stephanie's hand, more to anchor himself than to keep her there.

"What does it matter anyway?" he said. "So what? If Robbie likes Sportacus, so what? If Sportacus likes Robbie back, what do you care?"

That threw Trixie off and she paused, trying to form a response.

"Guys," Ziggy whimpered. "Stop."

"Heroes don't love villains…" Stingy muttered. Stephanie snapped her head up, and Trixie physically stepped backwards.

Stephanie furious was something extremely scary.

"_HE'S NOT A VILLAIN!_" she shouted. Stingy froze, eyes wide. Ziggy couldn't take it anymore and started crying. Pixel was shaking slightly, and glancing at his computer longingly. Stephanie trembled with fury, her eyes filling up with tears the instant Ziggy's did.

"Don't you EVER say that!" she continued, despite herself. "You don't know _anything_! The only reason Robbie was ever mean was because he was _lonely_! And now that he's not mean anymore you all start saying bad things about him! He's _not a villain_!"

There was absolute silence in the room, save from Ziggy's crying and Stephanie sniffling to try and keep from breaking down in tears herself. She hated getting angry. Hated it. Everything felt bad when she was angry.

She couldn't take it.

She wrenched her hand away from Pixel's, and ran from the room.

* * *

AN:

Ohhh, drama.

Trixie and Stingy sound mean in this (they sounded mean in Forcing It too, didn't they? Hm.) but they're really not. I like all of the characters (except Bessie) so I avoid bashing anyone. Don't worry about that.

This is me trying to address the way the kids deal with this change in relationships. It's not perfect, but I like it. Pixel's reaction to social conflict is to shut down and tune out. He does like Stephanie, but he's still a kid and he's still fragile.

Stingy likes knowing everyone's business, and Ziggy just wants everyone happy. I think I fit them all okay.

The chapter title is kinda of referring to that the "innocence" of the kids is fading away more and more as they get older. The angels have gone, so to speak.

The part where Robbie gives Ziggy a caramel IS inspired by the Glanni Glaeper play. Just so you know.

Thanks for all the awesome reviews so far guys! X3 Sorry it took a bit for this chapter to come out.


	4. Sense of Doubt

**Chapter 4: Sense of Doubt**

"Robbie, please!"

"Forget it! This is really getting old you know."

"It's not even sports candy! Can't you even _try_?"

"Popcorn without butter is an atrocity! Stop trying to shove it on me!"

This was the conversation Stephanie was greeted with when she ran into the house, closing the door behind her. She wiped her eyes furiously and padded into the kitchen.

Sportacus was holding an open bag of popped popcorn, completely butter free and ultra-healthy, and trying to convince Robbie to try some. Robbie was sitting on one of the stools placed around the kitchen island counter, one elbow on the counter and his head propped up by his hand. He looked bored, but mildly amused by the sports elf's efforts. Sportacus was about to say something when he spotted Stephanie.

"Stephanie!" he said happily. Robbie turned his head slightly and looked at her. "What are you doing back so early?" Robbie immediately straightened up and turned toward her. Sportacus frowned, taking in her morose look.

"What's wrong?"

Stephanie shook her head and walked into the kitchen, climbing up onto a stool next to Robbie. The man automatically reached out and ruffled her short hair in way of greeting. Her bottom lip trembled.

"You may as well spill it, Pixie. He's going to worry himself into a fit if you keep it to yourself."

Stephanie looked up and saw he was right. Sportacus was sitting on the counter, staring intensely at her, and smoothing out his mustache. She giggled slightly, despite herself.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's nothing. We had a fight, that's all."

"That's not nothing," Sportacus commented, frowning slightly. "What was the fight about?"

She kept her mouth shut and looked through the table.

"Steph?" Sportacus prodded. "Come on, you can tell me. Maybe I can talk to them and help patch things up?" Her jaw set.

"No," she said, determined. The fight was about him and Robbie, and if he knew that, he'd feel bad. She didn't want him to ever feel bad about being happy. "I'm not telling. And I don't want you to ask."

She felt a little bad when Sportacus gave her a worried look. She knew he would worry about her. But she wasn't giving it up. At that moment there was a timid knock at the door, and giving her one last look, Sportacus cart wheeled out of the room and went to answer the door. As soon as he was out of sight, Robbie grabbed a handful of popcorn and munched on it. He made a face.

"Could use some salt," he complained. He brushed his hands off and leaned against the counter again, watching Stephanie. He sighed dramatically, and hooked one leg of the stool she was sitting on with his foot, dragging her closer. Once she was next to him, he threw an arm over her shoulder and presented her with the popcorn bag. She took a handful.

"You know he can't keep his curious pointy ears out of anything," Robbie said. Stephanie looked down.

"Yeah," she replied. "But… it doesn't matter. I just don't want him to be upset."

"Ah," Robbie said. 'So it _is_ about him." Stephanie jumped, her eyes wide. Damn Robbie Rotten for being a genius.

"I never said that!" she protested. Robbie smirked.

"Your reaction did," he shot back smoothly. She opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by a bawling blonde-haired child running straight into the kitchen and flinging himself at her. She barely swung around in time to catch him.

"Stephanie!" Ziggy cried. "Please don't be mad!" He hid his face against her, clinging for all he was worth. She held him and rubbed his back reassuringly.

"I'm not mad," she said.

"But you _were_!" Ziggy sniffled. "Everyone's really sorry! Pixel won't even talk to anybody! I don't know if he's scared or mad at everybody for making you leave!"

She bit her lip and continued comforting her youngest friend. Sportacus swung up onto the counter again, seeing he wasn't needed to comfort Ziggy this time around. After Ziggy calmed down, she ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not mad," she repeated. "So you can tell everyone that. I just wanna stay home for the rest of today, that's all. The… the fight made me tired." It was a lie, but only a small one.

He bought it.

"O-okay," he sniffled. "But, I don't wanna go back. Trixie is still being mean."

"Trixie?" Sportacus spoke up. Ziggy rubbed his eyes and looked up at his hero from his perch on Stephanie's lap. He nodded.

"She was saying bad things," Ziggy explained. Stephanie tensed, about to put a hand over his mouth.

"Oh, well," Sportacus interrupted. "That is bad of her, but I'm sure she didn't mean to." Stephanie's look darkened. She was still angry at Trixie for saying those things. Ziggy rubbed his eyes again, frowning a little.

Stephanie was so entrenched in her thoughts of Trixie, she missed her moment.

"She was saying bad stuff about Robbie," he mumbled. Stephanie froze, eyes wide. Stupid hand of hers. Stupid slow reflexes.

"How surprising," Robbie drawled sarcastically. Ziggy seemed to only notice he was there at that moment, and he regarded Robbie with wide eyes.

"Did you find… your dinosaur?" Ziggy asked, whispering the second half as if the very words could summon said dinosaur. Robbie nodded.

"Yeah. He ate three people though. Sad, that. Oh well."

"Robbie!" Sportacus admonished. "You don't even have a dinosaur!"

"Maaaybe," Robbie grinned. "I _am_ a genius you know."

"You lied?" Ziggy asked.

"Robbie likes teasing," Sportacus explained. Ziggy thought for a moment.

"Like Trixie?"

Sportacus fought a smile at the thought.

"Sort of."

"More like 'not at all'," Robbie interrupted. "That brat couldn't plot if her life depended on it. No subtlety at all." He reached over and absent-mindedly grabbed a handful of popcorn and ate it, missing the victorious grin on the sports elf's face. Ziggy turned his attention back to Stephanie. He fidgeted nervously.

"Can… can I stay here instead?" he asked quietly. Sportacus jumped off the table energetically.

"Of course!" he answered. Ziggy grinned gratefully at him, but turned back to Stephanie for confirmation. The boy had come to look at Stephanie as a sort of mother figure. He really didn't want to upset her.

So, he was immensely relieved to see that she smiled down at him and patted his head. He beamed at her and gave her a hug before sliding off her lap and onto his feet again.

"Come on!" he chirped, bouncing up and down. "Let's play!"

* * *

Robbie Rotten was a genius. And it was times like these when he wondered if it was a blessing or curse.

Analyzing what both the pixie and blonde-boy said, it was fairly obvious what the fight was about.

Him and Sportacus.

Robbie sighed in a frustrated manner, running a hand through his hair and leaning against the table. The pink pixie and her friends had fought about him and Sportacus. Which meant one thing and one thing only.

They noticed.

He wanted to stay calm and relaxed. He wanted to be assured that, even if not everyone in the town approved of it, it wouldn't matter. But it would. He wasn't going to delude himself.

The laughter of Ziggy, Stephanie, and Sportacus floated through the house as they played. Robbie remained in the kitchen, tapping his fingers against the table. Thought was a burden, and one he carried with great pride. But it was a burden, nonetheless. Without his genius brain, he might have not connected the two separate confessions about the fight, and not come to this conclusion.

But there it was. No use trying to ignore it now.

He rubbed his temples with his free hand, closing his eyes. One could only hope, at this point.

He opened his eyes when he heard small feet padding quickly into the kitchen and going through the refrigerator. Ziggy came into view, sipping a water bottle. He looked up at Robbie carefully, and Robbie stared back, indifferent. After a moment Ziggy smiled in a half-nervous way.

"I think Stephanie's right," he said. Robbie raised an eyebrow. Ziggy paused for a moment, considering, before he dashed forward and hugged one of Robbie's legs. Robbie stiffened, his eyes going wide. Was there some kind of "be affectionate" disease going around? Before he could push the kid off, he let go and backed up. Ziggy was still smiling.

"She said you were really nice," he explained. "And I think she's right."

Robbie stared at the little kid for a moment more, before idly swinging his gaze over to the window.

"Oh look," he said in an off-hand, bored tone. "He got out again. Hope no one gets eaten this time."

When he looked back, Ziggy was gone.

"ROBBIE!" he heard the sports elf yell from the living room. He smirked.

Cute kid. Far too gullible.

* * *

AN:

I enjoyed the dinosaur far too much. About as much as Robbie enjoys frightening small children.

I like Ziggy. He's loud and hyper and a slob... but he's adorably genuine. He looks up to Stephanie for reassurance, among other things. Out of all his other friends, I'd say he's most attached to her. _Maybe_ Stingy. But that always reminds me of a slave/master relationship. Oh god I didn't just say that. MOVING ON.

Next chapter we get to see Pixel. I don't know why I enjoy torturing the poor boy so. Suffice it to say, he's upset. And Sportacus uses a move from the stage play... kudos to whoever can guess what it is. Anyway, next chapter things will be resolved. The story appears to be moving in mini plot-arcs. Hm. Except for the one at the end. Aaaaangst.

I tell you too much. Shush! You have heard nothing.


	5. Hallo Spaceboy

**Chapter 5: Hallo Spaceboy**

Pixel clicked furiously. His wrists ached from the odd angle, and his back hurt. His legs were aching too, and his eyes felt bloodshot. But he was embroiled in a game. And he refused to come out of it. He hadn't eaten dinner the night before, or breakfast. His stomach clenched painfully and distracted him at around two in the morning, but he ignored it and after that he couldn't really feel it.

Trixie and Stingy had left a long time ago, shortly after Stephanie did. That suited him fine. He didn't want to talk to people. People just complicated everything. He felt a wave of affection toward his computers. They never failed him. Well, once or twice, but only because he was the one who did something wrong. But they were always reliable. They were programmed that way.

He smiled vaguely as he won that level and advanced to the next. He fell back into his old habit of not even being vocal while playing. He ignored the knocking on his door at around noon. What day was it? Was it a weekend? He couldn't recall. Didn't matter.

"Pixel?" a muffled voice called. He ignored it. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He felt a brief stab of loneliness when he thought of other people.

The simple solution to that was to stop thinking of them.

* * *

"Sportacus!"

Sportacus jumped up and spun off the wall, landing on his feet. Trixie was running toward him. He tried to ignore the un-hero-like feeling of annoyance at her. Kids said a lot of things about people, especially Trixie. She was probably sorry about speaking bad about Robbie. He had to be a hero anyway, regardless.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she came to a stop in front of him, panting.

"Pixel won't answer!" she got out. "I think something's wrong with him. He won't answer his phone or his door, and last night he wouldn't talk to anyone."

Sportacus readjusted his goggles, thinking. Pixel did have a tendency to shut out the outside world. Ziggy had said Pixel was upset last night. Would the boy get upset enough to shut himself in his computer world?

Sportacus sighed. What to do? He could break down the door and drag the boy away from his technology… but then he remembered that Pixel carried his gadgets around with him. He was almost physically attached to them. The sports elf scratched his head.

"What made him so upset?" he asked. Trixie blanched and kicked a rock evasively.

"There was a fight. Stephanie ran off." she finally answered. Sportacus tapped a foot, waiting for more with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Trixie turned red, remembering the argument.

"It wasn't my fault!" she defended. "Pinky was being all weird! I mean, why does she care so much about what we say about Robbie now? She never used to! She said he was _nice_! Since when is Robbie Rotten _nice_? Maybe Stingy didn't have to say those weird things, but that doesn't mean she had to blow up on everybody like that!"

Sportacus stayed silent for a moment, while Trixie stewed in her anger.

"Are you sorry you made her mad?" he asked finally. The color faded from Trixie's face and she relaxed slowly.

"… Yeah…" she murmured. "I was just teasing. I didn't mean to make her mad. I still want to be her friend." Sportacus smiled suddenly, and patted her on the head.

"You should tell her then," he said. He glanced around, then leaned down and stage-whispered: "She's in her room right now."

Trixie brightened.

"Thanks Sportacus!" she called, running off. He waved at her retreating form and contemplated his next action. Pixel would be alright for awhile. Unless his crystal went off, it'd be okay. What Trixie said was interesting though.

He was getting the feeling there was more that was said than simply talk about Robbie.

But he headed towards Pixel's house to assess the situation.

* * *

It was worrying.

Sportacus peered into the window of Pixel's bedroom and saw the technophile at his computer. This was usual, and not wholly worrying.

The bags under his eyes, weak movements, and the way his eyes were bloodshot was, however.

Sportacus knocked on the window. No response. He frowned, and knocked harder. Still nothing. He slapped his palm against the glass, and there was a slight response from the boy. His eyes tore themselves from the screen and focused briefly on him, but within a second they were back on the screen.

Nope. Not good.

Sportacus tweaked his mustache, thinking. How to do this… ah. He snapped his fingers and smiled grimly, the idea forming. Tricky, but doable. He disappeared from view.

Pixel continued to play. He wasn't really enjoying it anymore. His brain felt fuzzy. But he kept going. He startled slightly when one of the many computers in the room started beeping at him. He blinked heavily and paused the game, looking up. He slid out of the chair unsteadily, and grimaced with pain when he straightened up. His back didn't appreciate the sedentary position. He picked his way unsteadily over to the computer, his back to the wall of monitors, and pressed buttons to quiet the beeping of the machine. He sighed, relieved, when it quieted, and automatically moved back in the direction of his main computer.

He was stopped by a strong hand grabbing the back of his shirt. He turned his head uncomprehendingly and his eyes got slightly wider when he saw Sportacus peering out of the screen at him.

"Sportacus?" he rasped, confused. Sportacus let go of his shirt and quickly did a flip out of the screen. He straightened up, wiping nonexistent sweat from his forehead with the back of a hand.

"Woo," he commented. "That one was difficult."

"Sportacus?" Pixel asked again weakly. "How did you…?" Sportacus leveled him with a serious but mildly concerned stare and took him by the shoulders.

"You look miserable," the sports elf said. Pixel blinked dully at him.

"Oh," he murmured. "Maybe. What time is it?"

"Two in the afternoon," Sportacus replied. Pixel didn't even look mildly surprised.

"Oh," he said softly. Sportacus frowned at him.

"When's the last time you ate Pixel?"

Pixel appeared to be trying to think.

"That was… no… lunch? I think. I remember… yeah. Lunch. Before…" his mouth shut after that. He really didn't want to recall.

"Before the fight?" Sportacus pried gently. Pixel swayed slightly and didn't say anything. Sportacus sighed and crouched down, coming to eye level with Pixel.

"Arguments between friends are pretty upsetting," he said gently. "But that doesn't mean there's not hope for them." Pixel's eyes were sliding over to his computer, so Sportacus continued quickly. "Just because people are complicated doesn't mean that dealing with them isn't worth it."

There it was.

Pixel's eyes stopped sliding toward the computer as he processed that.

"Maybe…" he murmured. "Processing…"

Sportacus smiled a little sadly at him. The poor boy's body was in bad shape. He'd probably need a full day after this to recover. Though, he was young. He'd spring back pretty quickly.

"Pixel," he said, interrupting the boy's weak muttering about loading data and processing. "Your body is going to shut down on you if you don't get some food and sleep soon." Pixel blinked.

"Shut down," he repeated tiredly. "I have to save my data first."

"Come on," Sportacus said, ignoring the jargon he didn't understand anyway and taking Pixel by the shoulder, leading him toward the door. "Let's get you some food before you pass out."

"Control, F, dash nine…" Pixel asserted dazedly.

* * *

Robbie tried to not be irritated. He really did. It made his whole day go smoother when he didn't get all worked up about something.

But having an annoying kid follow him around all day in a miniature car was wearing on his nerves. Finally, he stopped and spun around.

"Just _why_ are you following my every move, brat?"

Stingy froze, then tried to look nonchalant.

"O-oh… I wasn't following you…"

Robbie leveled him with a look.

"I'll be sure to inform Shortacus that you've taken up lying as an additional habit." he said dryly. Stingy clamped down on the panic that sentence caused, and when he did, something occurred to him.

"Why… why would Sportacus listen to you?"

Robbie was silent for a moment, trying to form a response. It was too late. The pause itself was telling enough. Stingy's eyes got wide.

"You _do_ like each other," he breathed. Robbie sneered at him.

"Are you through following me now?"

He got no response. Stingy drove off as fast as he could.

Robbie continued walking, but after a moment, veered toward the house instead of his own lair. As much as another bottle of bubblegum schnapps sounded great right about now, he had a sinking feeling that something was about to go down.

'Couldn't be that a bunch of brats just found out their hero is gay for the villain,' he thought sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 'Bad enough. I don't need to be drunk for it too.'

He opened the door. Wasn't even locked. A paranoid thought skittered across the surface of his mind, and suggested that he might want to tell the sports elf to lock it next time. The paranoia came to a stop and sank deeper instead, as he closed the door behind him and lounged on the sofa, flicking the television on.

If he got a chance to tell the sports elf anything at all. If the town made a big enough fuss… well, if the choice between Lazy Town and Robbie was presented to the elf, Robbie didn't want to think about the possibilities there. Besides…

If it came down to that, he'd rather remove himself from the available options than live with a perpetually depressed elf.

He didn't look up when he heard the patter of feet walk past the room on the way to the kitchen.

* * *

Trixie gaped, seeing Robbie Rotten so at ease on the couch in _Stephanie's_ house. They had made up after Trixie apologized in her own nervous, awkward way. They talked for awhile afterwards, and Trixie grudgingly accepted that maybe Robbie wasn't so rotten anymore. Mean and selfish and rough, but not rotten.

It was almost a disappointment.

Stephanie grabbed her by the arm and kept going toward the kitchen. Once they were in the tiled room, she was released.

"It's… still pretty weird." Trixie admitted. Stephanie grabbed some food out of the fridge and set it on the counter.

"I guess," Stephanie answered. "It was kind of awkward at first. But you get used to him pretty quick. Like I said, he's a big nice softy deep underneath the hard shell-like exterior."

"Like a crab?"

"You really are hungry!" Stephanie laughed.

"Hey, that's not it! I was thinking about getting a pet. I heard hermit crabs were pretty cool." There was a moment of silence before she grinned mischievously.

"I might get it a purple and red striped shell."

They both burst out laughing at that.

"Make sure its water dish is labeled 'cake'," Stephanie managed to get out, clutching her sides. They laughed for a little while longer, but in the end it tapered off and Trixie grew somber.

"Hey Steph?"

"Hm?"

"Do Sportacus and Robbie actually?…"

Stephanie tossed her friend an apple and bit into one herself, chewing thoughtfully. She swallowed.

"They like each other, yeah." she answered finally. Trixie was silent, thinking.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Stephanie continued. Trixie shook her head, pulling a mildly disturbed face.

"No," she answered slowly. "It's just… way different. I never could've seen them… you know, together." Her nose wrinkled as a thought occurred to her. "Ewwww. Do they kiss?"

Stephanie laughed.

"When they think I'm not looking," she replied. "But it's the same as _any_ kissing. I just don't wanna see it! Sportacus is like my dad now, you know?"

"Ugh, stop talking about it! Images!" Trixie clutched her head dramatically and Stephanie laughed again.

* * *

Sportacus helped Pixel into bed, sighing in relief when the boy immediately fell asleep. He pulled the blinds on the windows down to help. Pixel was a difficult case. Ziggy was easy to reform, because while he loved sweets, he also loved sports candy. A balance could be achieved there. It was a simple problem with a simple solution. Trixie was merely mischievous, and Stingy just needed to learn that not everything was his just because he said so.

Pixel, on the other hand, had avoidance issues. He preferred to block out reality rather than fight against it, and it was sinfully easy to do with so many escapes laid out by all his technology.

Sportacus gently removed the goggles and ear piece from Pixel's head and set them down on the desk. The poor kid was absolutely exhausted. Maybe Stephanie could come by later and cheer him up, when he wasn't so tired? That was an idea.

Sportacus quietly left the room and the house, closing doors behind him. He stretched once he was outside in the sunlight again, and spotted Stingy driving by.

"Hey!" he called out, waving. Stingy came to a stop and looked up curiously. His eyes got a little wider.

"O-oh… hi Sportacus…."

"Is something wrong?" the elf inquired, concerned over the half-heartedness of the greeting. Stingy shook his head furiously.

"I already know about the fight," Sportacus added. Stingy's eyes widened again.

"You… you do?"

"Yep," Sportacus said. "Apparently some things were said about Robbie? I didn't get the details."

"O-oh," Stingy murmured, more to himself. "Yeah… Trixie got a little carried away."

"So I gathered," he replied easily. Stingy gathered up his resolve.

"Sportacus?"

"Hm?"

"Robbie Rotten and you… what are you?"

Sportacus blinked, a little thrown off by the question.

"Me and Robbie? We're friends." he answered simply. And in the sports elf's mind, while he knew they were _more_ than friends, they were also friends too. But explaining things to children often got complicated.

"Oh," Stingy said. There was a pause. "… _just_ friends?"

Sportacus blinked again, confused. What was this all about?

"Why are you asking?" he said. Stingy fidgeted and looked guilty.

"It's… a theory, I have." Hearing no answer from Sportacus, he continued. "See, I was reading… and, well, let's say, I noticed some things, and I came to the astounding conclusion that Robbie was trying to impress you! By, you know, being outside more and stuff. Like he wanted attention. So, I thought, Robbie must really like you! But, then I told the gang that, and Trixie started making fun of Robbie, and Stephanie got mad and ran away. I… I really didn't mean to make her run away like that…"

Sportacus was about to console Stingy that it was alright, but surprisingly, Stingy kept talking.

"But before she left, Stephanie said something weird. She said 'what if Sportacus likes him back'. But… Sportacus, you wouldn't like him back, right? Because you're the hero and he's the villain, right?"

Sportacus took a deep breath and resisted the urge to start grooming his mustache.

"Robbie isn't a villain," he replied evasively. "He's just lonely and doesn't know how to be happy. That's all. He's not bad."

"But… what if it's a trick?"

"It's not," Sportacus assured him, smiling gently. "Trust me." Stingy paused again, thinking.

"Are… you really in love?"

Sportacus felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. He would never deny that he loved Robbie. Not ever. But not denying, and confessing it to a small child were two different things.

"Would it matter?" he asked, not looking at anything in particular. Stingy thought.

"No," he finally answered. "I just wanted to know."

"Yes," Sportacus smiled slightly. Stingy stared up at him for a moment before sighing.

"Well, I guess that's alright," he muttered, driving slowly forward again. "As long as Robbie doesn't try to take anything that's _mine_." Sportacus laughed heartily, relieved despite himself.

"If he does, let me know!"

"Oh, I _will_. Bye Sportacus!"

"See you later Stingy!"

Now… to check in on Stephanie and Trixie.

* * *

AN:

My favorite Pixel scenes seem to be the one where he's completely messed up. Maybe because that's how he's supposed to be really, considering everything... and because I've had enough sleepless nights attached to the computer to know what it feels like and how easy it is to lose your sense of self. Pixel in the tv show is a bit too social for his character I think.

The thing with Sportacus coming out of the screen... yes, it's from the Afram Latibaer stage play. Which, as I said before, scares me. A lot. That scene especially. Poor poor Goggi. But yeah, it's elfy magic. I wanted to include it. Otherwise Sport would have to break and enter. Not... that it stops him most of the time. But still.

Bit of a long chapter, because it's unweildly to break up. The next chapter wraps up this little story arc.

Thanks for the reviews guys! You're too nice to me. Somehow I think this fic will exceed the number of reviews I got for PBBS.


	6. Thursday's Child

**Chapter 6: Thursday's Child**

Robbie's mood continued to get darker as time passed. He curled up on the couch, and told himself stubbornly, the possibility of being rejected _did not_ hurt. He didn't need anyone. There was nothing in his heart left to break, so forget it. If the sports elf chose the love of the town over Robbie- well, that was understandable, wasn't it? Robbie Rotten's love was broken. It couldn't compare, even to the small community.

He felt more and more miserable, and hearing the light and happy laughter of children was _again_ rubbing it in. He contemplated going into the kitchen and putting a stop to it. Scaring them off.

But it wasn't his house, and he was too tired to move from the couch.

He heard the blue elf come swooshing in through the front door and dash gracefully into the kitchen. The resulting cries of delight that his entrance brought, and the happy chatter of idle innocents that followed. He heard all of it. It made his stomach clench, and he laid down side ways on the couch, curling into a ball with his eyes on the screen.

None of them needed a crisis of uncertainty right now. He wouldn't be the one to give it to them. He was good at staying silent and invisible. It was how he lived for most of his life, and it worked.

Sportacus was leaning over the back of the couch and peering down at him.

"Feeling okay?" the sports elf inquired.

"Fine," Robbie muttered. Sportacus tilted his head a little, and fingered his mustache while contemplating. He finally decided on a move after a moment and brought his hand down, stroking the side of Robbie's face lightly, affectionately.

Robbie felt like something in his chest froze up and shattered. But he swallowed it back. Being strong wasn't one of his best points. Not a quality feature. But hell if he wouldn't attempt it.

He let his eyes close, soaking up the affection like a mildly damp sponge that wants to become saturated. Sportacus always radiated heat, even in the middle of winter. Robbie was never sure if that was because of him being so active constantly, or related to his higher than average tolerance for cold. Regardless, it always felt nice. He let the blue elf share a small bit of his warmth with him, and drank it in gratefully.

"Robbie?" Sportacus whispered. Robbie didn't respond, but the elf knew he was listening. Robbie always listened, even if he pretended not to.

"Robbie, are you upset?"

Robbie opened his eyes at that. The petting stilled.

"What makes you say that?" he murmured back, keeping his voice low. Sportacus automatically brushed an errant strand of black hair away from his face for him.

"You're too quiet," Sportacus answered. "You're never this quiet unless you're napping or you're upset. Usually when you think too much."

Robbie snorted.

"I need to stop hanging around you so much. There'll be no mystery left."

Sportacus smiled, relieved to hear even this small amount of dry wit from the man. He resumed trailing his fingers across Robbie's face slowly.

"I told you, you think too much."

"Not when I'm right."

There was a lull in conversation, contrasting the noise of the television and the sounds of two girls in the kitchen, wreaking havoc no doubt.

"So what're you upset about?" Sportacus asked simply, leaning further over the back of the couch and watching Robbie. It was one of the few things he enjoyed doing that required him to be relatively still.

"If it was the kids and their fight, it's okay now," he continued. "Everything's cleared up now. I think everybody's okay. Except Pixel… but that's nothing serious, and he'll be back to normal by tomorrow."

"All that's left is me, then," Robbie said without thinking, his eyes still focused on the television. Sportacus contemplated this for a moment before moving around the couch and kneeling in front of Robbie to resume his fingers' exploration of the man's face. Robbie pretended not to notice.

"Feeling left out, are we?" Sportacus teased lightly. He didn't give Robbie a chance to respond, leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on his lips before leaning back again. He smiled softly, serenely, at him.

"I love you."

Robbie felt the shards of whatever it was that had frozen and shattered from before, lodge in his throat painfully.

"Promise," he rasped out, voice thick. "Promise you won't leave." Sportacus immediately enveloped the skinny man in a hug from his position on the floor, and let his hands roam along Robbie's back, caressing out tense muscles.

"Promise you won't leave me behind," Robbie continued, hiding his face against the shirt underneath the vest Sportacus wore. Sportacus kissed the top of his head.

"I promise. I won't ever leave you Robbie Rotten. No matter what. No more worrying about that." he chided gently. He felt Robbie relax slowly.

"Okay," he replied quietly. He really didn't know what else to say, so he let the sports elf hold him for awhile.

"Better now?" Sportacus asked after a few minutes.

"Mmn," Robbie confirmed. Sportacus smiled and let him go.

"I think Stephanie said she wanted to bake a cake," he said. "I figured you might want to sample it to make sure it has enough sugar to send normal people into a coma."

"Only obnoxious sports elves," Robbie replied, sitting up. He wanted the contact with Sportacus again, but they both had other things to do. Sportacus had a town to look after.

* * *

Stephanie opened the door to Pixel's room carefully, peeking around the doorframe. She spotted Pixel sitting curled up on his bed, pressing buttons on a remote control, with his eyes glued to a television screen. She stepped into the room quietly, shutting the door behind her. She padded over to him, jumping nimbly over random piles of clutter all over the floor until she was at his side. He hadn't looked up.

"Pixel?" she asked softly. He jerked, dropping the remote, and turning his head to look at her finally.

"S-steph?" his voice cracked a little. "What… what are you doing here?" Stephanie smiled a little for his benefit.

"Everybody's worried about you. _I'm_ worried about you. You aren't answering when we call," she replied. Pixel looked at a lost for what to say.

"I'm sorry," he finally decided. Stephanie smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. Pixel thought he was going to melt.

"It's okay," Stephanie said gently. "Do you want to come play outside now?"

Pixel wanted nothing to do with playing outside if it meant Stephanie would have to let go… he sighed a little, regretfully.

"Yeah," he replied. Whatever made the pink girl happy and set her at ease. Anything. Stephanie smiled brilliantly at him and he thought his system might crash right there. His heart was beating way too fast.

"Come on!" she chirped, letting him go.

"Hang on, I gotta find my shoes!" Pixel protested, looking around for them. "Where did I…"

"You mean these?" Stephanie giggled, holding one up. It had been half buried in one of the many piles of clutter.

"Yeah! Thanks!" he hopped off the bed and took the shoe from her.

"What would you ever do without me?" Stephanie grinned teasingly.

"Crash," Pixel said seriously, spotting the other shoe and putting it on.

"He'd stay holed up in his room for the rest of eternity," another voice said. Stephanie whirled around and Pixel nearly fell over in surprise.

Robbie Rotten was standing in the doorway.

"Done yet Pixie?" he asked, bored. Stephanie threw him a frustrated look.

"What're you doing here?" she demanded. "Sportacus said I could come alone!" Robbie scoffed.

"So he did," he confirmed. "Fortunately, I'm not as innocently naïve as that elf. It probably never even crossed his mind that you were going over to a boy's house all alone and unsupervised. How lucky for you that I'm smarter."

"Ugh," Stephanie shot back. "It's not like we were kissing or anything!" She missed the choked sound Pixel made behind her, as well as the resulting crash when he tripped over his own feet and landed on the floor.

"_Yet_," Robbie interjected, eyeing Pixel in an amused way while he climbed to his feet again. Stephanie made a frustrated noise and grabbed Pixel's hand.

"Come on," she said, pulling him along. "Let's go outside." Robbie let them pass and followed them out.

'What have I gotten into?…' Pixel thought.

* * *

AN:

I know it's a short chapter. DX I'm sorry. That's just how it got broken up. But this ends the little story-arc. Next it swings back to Stephanie and her issues. Whee!

The chapter title itself has little to do with the content- it's the song that relates. Look it up on YouTube or something. It fits the first half of the chapter. The second half of the chapter is just me enjoying being borderline mean to Pixel. I can't help it. It's too fun. He's my third favorite character, after all.

Not much to say about this really, besides that you guys are way too nice to me. I read some reviews (I try to not make a habit of pointing any out, but you should know who you are) and I'm reduced to a gurgling babbling pile of incoherent author-goo. I really don't think I'm that good! But people tell me I'm good with characterizations, so maybe I am. I don't know. That opinion might change with later chapters. XD It gets pretty intense at that point. But we're a ways away from that yet. Now if I can only figure out a way to end it... tsk.

If I can get the House MD fandom out of my veins first, I might actually be able to finish this.

Thanks for the reviews everyone! Keep 'em coming, eh?


	7. Changes

**Chapter 7: Changes**

Stephanie yawned as she walked slowly down the hall, stretching her arms over her head. Summer vacation really was wonderful. Sleeping in late was the best, it really was. Even if Sportacus kept trying to persuade her to wake up earlier and earlier. It was cute, in a way, because she knew it meant he was just bored without anybody to play with. But it was aggravating at the same tie, because _she_ certainly wasn't going to be his playmate at four thirty in the morning as the sun was peeking over the horizon. He had kept bugging her about it until she finally presented him with a printed out copy of an article she had looked up on the internet on Pixel's computer, saying that as kids got older, their sleeping patterns changed temporarily so that they naturally wanted to stay up later and sleep in until the afternoon. Stephanie sighed as she remembered that conversation. Sportacus had been confused and mentioned something about how when _he_ was a teenager that wasn't the case, but at that point Robbie had been walking by with a candy bar in hand, and deftly plucked the hat from the sports elf's head and _pinched_ his ear. Sportacus had yelped loudly and retaliated by shoving four grapes into Robbie's mouth. It had sparked a civil war for the next two days.

Stephanie rubbed her eyes, opening the bathroom door. It had been an odd way of proving her point, but it worked. Sportacus let her sleep in until ten in the morning.

Meanwhile, Robbie was trying in vain to continue sleeping, despite the fact that Sportacus kept coming by him and poking him until he woke up and swatted the interfering elf away. He eventually had to settle for eating the last of Stephanie's sugary cereal (Sportacus had kept it shoved in the very back of the cupboard, predictably, but Robbie's sugar-seeking senses had yet to fail him) and watching early morning cartoons while he ate it.

His attention was diverted by a girlish squeal coming from the bathroom. After a moment of silence, it was followed by a much more _angry_ squeal.

"WHO LEFT THE LID UP?!"

Robbie started laughing evilly despite himself, nearly spilling the cereal. Sportacus poked his head out of the kitchen at the first squeal, and now leveled a look at Robbie that conveyed perfectly what the sports elf was thinking.

"You're such a _kid_."

Stephanie slammed the door to the bathroom a minute later, stomping toward the living room. Robbie quickly schooled his face to look innocent. Sportacus watched the whole process curiously, and couldn't help noting that at least Stephanie wasn't swinging her arms when she stomped like Robbie did. He fought furiously with the urge to smile at that mental image.

Stephanie pointed dramatically at the man on the couch, glaring daggers at him.

"YOUuuuuuuu," she hissed. Robbie gave her his best surprised innocent look.

"Me?" he provided. She clenched her fist.

"You left the seat up," she accused. Robbie appeared to think for a moment.

"You should probably check beforehand, you know." he finally offered up, grinning broadly at her. Her eye twitched and she glared harder.

"Don't do it again." she said flatly.

"Did wittle Stephiepoo fall in?"

Sportacus ducked back into the kitchen. And kept reminding himself that this was how the two of them bonded.

Stephanie was seeing red. Robbie could almost see the way she puffed up like a furious cat, and it was _hilarious_.

"YOU'RE UGLY!" she yelled finally, stamping her foot to emphasize how definite that fact was. It was Robbie's turn to bristle.

"YOU'RE STUPID!" he yelled back. From the kitchen, Sportacus poked at a package of bacon and made a face at it, wondering if he should even try cooking it. Didn't protein help calm people down? Or did it aggravate them more? He couldn't remember. And he sucked at cooking things. The thought of sizzling bacon, with all that grease and animal fat popping and going everywhere… he felt his stomach turn at the very thought, and grabbed oatmeal instead.

"YEAH?!" Stephanie screamed back, clawing for a comeback. "Well… WELL YOU'RE A STUPID _BOY_!"

"Ha!" Robbie replied quickly. "You're just jealous you can't pee standing up!"

There was a bang from the kitchen as Sportacus smacked the back of his head in a cupboard from trying to stand up too quickly.

Stephanie turned red, unable to think of a response to that. Robbie smiled smugly at her from the couch while she quivered in fury.

"Y-you…" she seethed. "You… STUPID-HEAD!" She abruptly turned and ran back to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. Robbie blinked at the spot where she had been, confused. What just?… Did he make her mad? Sportacus sighed and emerged from the kitchen.

"You made her mad," he confirmed. Robbie shot him a glare.

"Brilliant, elf," he snapped. "Now tell me how to fix it."

"You don't need to snap at me just because you're confused," Sportacus replied evenly. He knew both of them too well. Though… usually, Stephanie wasn't this sensitive. That was a little odd.

"Go talk to her," he suggested.

"About what?" Robbie whined. Sportacus rolled his eyes.

"Ask her what's wrong. It's not that hard!"

"Easy for you to say!"

"Just go already!"

Sportacus lifted him off the couch and pushed him in the direction of Stephanie's room.

"Alright!" Robbie snapped, batting the elf's hands away. "I'm going already!"

"Good luck," Sportacus smiled slightly. "Try not to upset her more than you have." He ducked back into the other room before Robbie could throw something at him.

Robbie glared at the wall before huffing to himself and walking to the girl's bedroom door. He contemplated it. It… was a girl door. Beyond this gateway lay all sorts of girly things, and what if the pink pixie was crying or something? He felt his stomach flop around uncomfortably at the thought. He wasn't any good with crying people.

He shook his head, clearing away the thoughts. He was gonna do this. Sulking kids were the worst. He straightened out the cuffs on his wrists needlessly, drew himself to full height to give himself that extra boost of confidence that towering over others lent to him, and turned the doorknob, pushing the door open slightly. He peeked in.

Stephanie was scribbling furiously in her diary, tear tracks evident on her face, though it was contorted in frustration and anger rather than sadness. It made something in Robbie's chest twist to think about what she was writing at that moment. This wasn't the eight year old who wrote about him doing funny things and being a big softy. He swallowed heavily and stepped into the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

When he looked up again, Stephanie was watching him with one eye and the writing had ceased. It was unnerving, seeing that expression thrown back at him. He stayed where he was and examined a wall.

"S-so…"

Stephanie's attention turned back to the diary and she began writing again. Robbie swallowed shakily. He _hated_ dealing with girls! Too complicated. Hell, children in general…

"Umm… what's wrong?" he ventured. The writing paused again, but started back up. No response.

"So you're giving me the silent treatment now?"

Nothing. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"I'm sorry?" he offered. Stephanie threw the pencil across the room and he flinched.

"My stomach hurts and you made fun of me!" she accused.

"I make fun of everyone! You're not special!"

She glared at him for a few moments before it clicked in his mind.

"Your stomach hurts?"

She huffed and pouted.

"You're missing the point entirely," she complained.

"You should probably talk to the elf about that," Robbie mused, not even listening. She scowled at him from the bed.

"It's probably nothing," she replied. "I'm not going to make him worry about something stupid like a tummy ache." She fidgeted nervously and Robbie quirked an eyebrow at her suspiciously.

"Anything else?" he asked. Stephanie appeared to be contemplating, twisting bed sheets in her hands. Robbie waited, arms crossed in front of him.

"Well…" she started hesitantly. She was turning red, Robbie noticed. "Do you think… maybe… you could go to the store and get something for me?"

"Eh?" Robbie made a confused face. "Wouldn't it be better for _him_ to get you medicine? I don't know anything about it." Stephanie sat up straighter.

"No! I mean… it's not medicine…"

"Well?"

"It's, um…" she was turning redder and Robbie was getting a bad feeling. But she beckoned him closer and he found his feet moving forward, directed by insatiable curiosity. He bent over and she whispered in his ear.

He bolted straight up.

"SPORTACUS!" he yelled, looking terrified.

"_Robbie!_" Stephanie squealed in protest. Sportacus nearly broke the door getting in.

"What?" he asked, looking around for a problem. "What's wrong?" Robbie shoved him out of the doorway and then shoved him into the room.

"She's _your_ daughter!" he said as way of explanation. "Your problem! Not mine! I'm not touching that issue, _no_."

"Issue?" Sportacus scratched his head, confused. Stephanie was busy throwing glares at Robbie and turning red simultaneously.

"Robbie Rotten, you traitor!" she hissed at him. He stuck his tongue out at her and disappeared into the safety of the living room down the hall. Sportacus watched the whole affair, growing more confused. He turned to Stephanie.

"Stephanie?… what happened?"

* * *

AN:

Yeah, if that wasn't the cheesiest chapter title yet. Gawd.

I'm sorry it keeps taking me awhile to get these out! School is keeping me busy. Every single fan fiction writer out there will tell you this, whether it's true or not. I leave it up to you to decide. Regardless, I apologize for not getting it out quicker. I see those SportaSteph stories are building up again. Bad me.

Recently I've been reading Norse mythology. Ragnarok and such. And I can't help but think "... Loki... Robbie Rotten?" Which is an endlessly amusing thought. But then who is Sportacus? ... Thor? Well technically Sportacus would just be an elf, but oh well. I'm thinking Thor. Even though, Loki and Thor were friends I guess, so... I don't know. I'm confused and a college student. You can see my conflict.

This chapter is a bit of a cliffhanger... but not much. Uh... cookies to anyone who guesses what she wants? It... really shouldn't be too hard. Ah-ha...

A lot of credit needs to go to chibified (your LJ name is too hard to type out DX) for... ah, lots of stuff in this chapter. Yes. Credit is given!

Please leave me reviews please! X3


	8. What in the World

**Chapter 8: What in the World**

He came back from the store, humming a little tune and carrying a bag. Stephanie's pink-haired head peeked out from her room and at seeing him back, she ran, snatched the bag with a "Thanksdadddyberightback" and slammed the bathroom door behind her. Sportacus shook his head, determining that he'd _never_ be able to understand some things, and found Robbie curled up on the couch flicking through television channels.

"That wasn't so bad," he said. Robbie gave him a look.

"What are you?" Robbie asked. "Do elves not get grossed out by _anything_?" Sportacus frowned slightly, bewildered.

"Grossed out? By what? I just bought a little box." He looked at the receipt and slowly pronounced the foreign word. "Ta-m-pons." Robbie shuddered so violently it looked like he might crawl out of his skin.

"Ew," he gagged. "Ewwwwwwwwww."

"What is it?"

Robbie stared at him for a full minute in shock.

"You're kidding."

"Nooo. What is it? Come on, tell me!"

"I am _not_ going to give you the talk you crazy damn innocent elf. It's not happening. No."

"The talk?"

"_No._"

"Robbie!"

"You can _forget it_."

There was a long moment of silence where Sportacus looked confused and frustrated and Robbie was glaring at him for even thinking about it. But then, the sports elf's face relaxed minutely, and there was a tiny, ill-hidden smile of mischief that snuck onto his face.

Robbie saw it and _ran_.

He got about as far as the backyard before he was pounced from behind.

"Tell!" Sportacus demanded, straddling the man's back and pinning his wrists to the ground with one hand.

"No way in hell you crazy bastard!"

He was promptly tickled for three solid minutes, despite how much he thrashed and howled for release. Sportacus grinned and let him catch his breath after that.

"Tell," he repeated. "Why is it gross? What is… that thing I bought?" He had already forgotten the name. Robbie coughed weakly.

"No," he replied resolutely. Sportacus pouted.

"Why not?" He paused. "… Do I need to tickle you more?"

"NO!" Robbie shouted, squirming again. He stopped after a moment. "You could use _other_ methods of persuasion though…" Sportacus tilted his head to the side.

"Like what?"

"Nothing," Robbie groaned. It was useless, with an innocent. "Nevermind."

"Why won't you tell me what that box is though?"

"Because it's _gross_," Robbie countered.

"But why is it gross?"

"For the love of… I'm _not_ telling you. I'm seriously not going to explain that to you. Didn't you get _any_ sex education as a kid?"

"Education?…" Sportacus pondered. "They have that for sex? Why would you need that?"

"So no one has to explain to stupid sports elves why _tampons_ are gross, that's why!"

Sportacus frowned, thinking hard. This wasn't good. How was he supposed to help if he didn't know this stuff? Plus, he was naturally rather curious. Robbie squirmed again, getting uncomfortable underneath him.

"Let me up already!" he complained. Sportacus blinked and looked down.

"Maybe."

"_Maybe?!_ Oh, you'll let me up Sportastupid, or… or…"

Sportacus sighed and released his wrists, standing easily.

"You're so _loud_ Robbie," he said as Robbie climbed back to his feet. Robbie froze and looked at him incredulously.

"_I'm_ loud? Are you insane?"

Sportacus smiled at him simply and made a beckoning gesture with his finger. Robbie regarded him skeptically, suspiciously, before slowly stepping closer. Sportacus stood on his toes and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"You're adorable, you know that?"

Robbie didn't reply for a moment, turning red.

"Egh… um… well." he finally stuttered. He adjusted his cuffs self-importantly. "Well, of course I'm adorable. It comes as part of the package of being so handsome."

"Mmm," Sportacus hummed noncommittally. "Lucky me." Robbie eyed him suspiciously.

"… What're you up to?"

"Nothing," the sports elf replied breezily, and did a few flips back into the house. Robbie followed slowly, still not sure what all of that was about. Stephanie was sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. When Sportacus attempted to pluck it out of her hands, with a chiding "Not until after dinner, you know that!", instead of protesting while letting it go, she clung to the bowl with tenacity and glared. Robbie saw the look of surprise flicker across his elf's face, and caught the subtle shifting of his body that betrayed his intentions of getting into a battle of wills with the pink girl.

Robbie intervened on his behalf, grabbing a handful of shirt and dragging the shorter man away to leave Stephanie to her ice cream.

"Hey! Robbie!" he protested, but let himself be dragged into the other room. Once they were there, Robbie spun him around and gave him a stern look.

"You really want to know?" he asked flatly. It took Spartacus a minute, but he nodded. Robbie grimaced.

"I can't believe I'm… ugh. Fine. You owe me _so much_."

"I know I know!" Sportacus laughed. "I'll make it up to you."

"Yeah, you will," Robbie muttered. "Just please tell me you know the difference between girls and boys." Sportacus frowned and puffed up slightly, insulted.

"Of course I do!"

"Calm down and deflate, stupid. I'm making sure."

Sportacus huffed, but listened.

* * *

Sportacus was one rather confused sports elf.

He got the whole basic… _process_ down from Robbie. It was all pretty weird, and he wasn't sure if Robbie was trying to trick him or not. So, he took it upon himself to examine the prior purchase. He found the opened box in the cupboard under the sink and fished it out. A small pamphlet fell out and he picked it up, unfolding it and reading it curiously. His eyes got wider and he dropped both box and pamphlet and scurried out of the bathroom, into the living room where Stephanie and Robbie were curled around a bowl of popcorn and flicking pieces at each other, picked Stephanie up and headed for the door.

"Wha-? Sportacus!" Stephanie protested. "Where are we going?"

"Store," he said shortly.

"What? _Why_?"

"You want to get Toxic Shock Syndrome? I'm not entirely sure what that is, but I'm sure it involves getting sick and that it's not healthy for you. So! Those… _tam-pons_ I bought for you are unhealthy. We're going to the store to get something else."

He heard Robbie laughing hysterically on the couch in between mouthfuls of popcorn. Stephanie was turning a variety of colors, mostly red. Was that a symptom? He couldn't remember!

"Sportacus!" Stephanie dropped all her weight, sliding out of his grip and then standing again, out of grabbing distance. "It's fine!"

"It's not fine!" he argued.

"Let it go elf!" Robbie shouted helpfully from the couch. They both ignored him.

"I want to use them!"

"You want to get sick?"

"I won't get sick!"

"Can't you just use something else?"

"You _never_ let me do what I want! I hate you!"

Stephanie stamped her foot and whirled around. This was the second time that day she blew up and retreated into her room. Sportacus stood completely still.

Robbie leaned until he could see Sportacus. He sighed and got up, making his way over while chewing the last handful of popcorn he had snatched. He brushed his hands off on his pants and put his arm over the sports elf's shoulder.

"Remember the irritability thing?" he provided.

"Yeah," Sportacus muttered. If Robbie didn't know better he'd say the elf was sulking.

"It's a good thing you don't actually have kids," Robbie continued. "You'd mother hen them to death." He felt rather than saw the way Sportacus bristled in protest, but he couldn't take it back.

"Would not…"

"You would. I'm surprised you weren't born a girl."

Sportacus rolled his eyes.

"Robbie…"

"Not that I'd complain," Robbie continued, tapping his chin thoughtfully, as if actually contemplating the idea. "I don't mind girls. Hmm. Yeah." Sportacus colored.

"Stop that. I can feel you thinking about me as a girl from here." Robbie grinned.

"Heh. You'd probably be even shorter than you are now." Robbie giggled at the thought. Sportacus snorted.

"If I was a girl you'd have to deal with _this_ though," he pointed out. That stopped that thought dead.

"Oh," Robbie said flatly. "That's… true. Damn."

The conversation led nowhere, but it succeeded in at least temporarily distracting the elf from heartbreak.

"I should go talk to her," Sportacus said. Robbie restrained him.

"Nope," he said. "Bad idea."

"Oh? And what would you do, Mr. Genius?"

"Thank you."

Sportacus slipped out from Robbie's hold.

"I'll deal with it my own way. Go eat more popcorn."

Robbie clutched his heart dramatically and staggered back to the couch while Sportacus rolled his eyes at the theatrics and walked to Stephanie's door. He knocked quietly.

"Stephanie?"

"Go away!"

He steeled himself. That wasn't going to hurt.

"I want to talk."

"No!"

A voice drifted down the hall from the living room.

"Stop being pouty, Pixie!"

An infuriated scream from Stephanie and the sound of something breaking was the reply.

"Robbie, stop helping!" Sportacus shouted back. The television volume got louder. Sportacus knocked again.

"Stephanie? Please open the door?"

"Why should I?"

"Because otherwise we'll have to talk through the door, and Robbie will hear every word."

"NO I WON'T!" came the shouted reply from the living room. Unseen, both Stephanie and Sportacus rolled their eyes. Stephanie opened the door slightly.

"Fine," she muttered. "You can come in."

"Thanks," he sighed, relieved. He closed the door behind him. Stephanie was crossing the room, ignoring him, and reorganizing books on the shelf. He shifted, wishing he had something physical to do to calm him down as well.

"Look," he started. "Maybe I overreacted-"

Stephanie snorted and he kept going.

"But only because I don't want to see you get sick."

"I'm _not_ going to get sick," Stephanie asserted, still not looking at him.

"Why can't you use something else?"

Stephanie grit her teeth to keep from snapping at him.

"Because," she said. "Pads don't work as well."

"Pads?…" Sportacus murmured. He wondered what exactly… he shook his head. Best to not even try to imagine. Stephanie was giving him a skeptical look.

"Yeah," she said. "Pads. I can't dance with them." His eyes got wide.

"You can't?"

"No."

"… why didn't you just say that?"

"I didn't think I needed to!" She turned around and finally faced him. "Besides, it's not about that anyway! You hardly ever let me do what I want!"

Sportacus looked confused. Where did the nice sweet girl go? His pink dancing partner with the singing voice of an angel? What happened?

He suddenly felt a weight settle on him, and his shoulders visibly slumped. He wasn't getting that girl back. People changed with age, and he always forgot that. It was easy to forget. He had changed very little throughout his life, save for the one transformation early in his life when he settled into his role as a hero, instead of the village rascal. So, it was easy for him to forget that other people never stayed the same. And it was unbearably sad.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. "I didn't realize." What realization he was talking about was unclear.

Stephanie noted the sudden change with concern. She wasn't really angry- just frustrated. He still treated her like a little kid, and she _wasn't_. She was practically a teenager and here he was trying to… what? She paused. The mirror in her mind flipped suddenly, and she was presented with the opposite view- instead of being restrained by Sportacus, held back, she was the one who was walking away, while Sportacus was stumbling to keep up and tugging on the back of her shirt like a little kid.

Her stomach sank and tears sprang to her eyes without permission. What a sad image, she thought.

"Stephanie?…" Sportacus ventured, seeing her eyes glimmer with unshed tears. Her lip trembled and he automatically moved forward and caught her in a hug when she nearly flung herself against him. He held her close as she hiccupped like she was still eight years old, even though she had grown enough by now to come up to his chest instead of his stomach.

He was beyond confused. Did everybody have to go through this? Why were girls so confusing? Still, he held her tight and waited for her tears to stop.

"Are you okay?" he said gently, looking down at her. Secretly, he hoped she wouldn't get as tall as him, so he could always have that feeling of being able to hold onto her and be her shield. Stephanie sniffed and backed away a little, rubbing her eyes.

"Yes," she answered, embarrassed. He probably didn't even know what she was crying about. And now she had nothing to be mad about, but she couldn't just start acting happy and normal again. She was stuck.

Sportacus tried to find something to say to fill up the void.

"… How about for your next birthday, if you want, you could get your ears pierced?"

Stephanie's face lit up and he felt relief melt in his chest.

"Really?" she asked. He nodded and she hugged him tightly again, jumping up a little and kissing his cheek. He laughed, though really he wanted to sob with relief, and hugged her back.

"We better get back before Robbie eats all the popcorn," Sportacus said.

"Too late!" a muffled reply came from behind the closed door. "Already gone. I got bored."

"Robbie Rotten!" Stephanie turned toward the door and glared, as if Robbie could actually see her through the door. "You're such a little kid!"

"And what're you?" came the retort. "At least I don't throw fits and lock myself in my room like a crybaby!"

Sportacus mouthed to her, "he does," and she giggled. There was a pause, and shuffling outside the door.

"What was that?" Robbie asked apprehensively. "… Is that stupid elf talking about me? Whatever he's saying, it's a lie!"

Stephanie giggled more.

* * *

AN:

Um... apparently I'm tremendously sucking at this whole "update in a timely manner" thing. Bad me.

Becca, authoraisarte, and LoveTHYconan all got it right in a general sense, but only LoveTHYconan got it 100 percent correct. :3 So you get a jumbo cookie. Becca and authoraisarete get smaller, but equally delicious cookies. But not much smaller.

Ah... this chapter was fun. Neither Robbie or Sportacus knows exactly how to deal with irrationality. And Robbie is the only one who has any sexual education, but he finds the whole topic extremely gross. Sportacus is just vaguely unsettled and confused. When he's examining the box, what he finds is the TSS warnings. I... don't know if every product comes with those, but _mine_ do, so... I put it in. Hah.

I've toyed with the idea of gender-switching. I really have. It makes me giggle. Actually, if anyone wrote that and posted it, I would probably smother them with loves, and spend my days promoting the hell out of the story. And if the Robbiekitten fic doesn't get updated soon I may start crying. Just so you know.

Ah, this chapter is semi-dedicated to Kay, who apparently got inspired by a scene in PBBS and drew fanart. Which makes me all kinda of happy inside. It's on the y!gallery website, in the LazyTown slash community... the piece is called Enemies, and again, I am many kinds of happy inside. Having any of my stuff inspire people makes me go "uh?... I'm influential? wtf? when did this happen?" and then self-destruct.

Long author's note. XP Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed! We get more of Pixel next chapter. Steph's first date! Leave me reviews please loves!


	9. Teenage Wildlife

**Chapter 9: Teenage Wildlife**

This is my moment of opportunity, Pixel thought.

Sportacus was playing with the other kids, Robbie was napping (or attempting to) on a bench, and Stephanie had broken away from the game to get a drink of water. Pixel wandered over to her in a casual manner, though his heart felt like it might overheat and thump straight out of his chest.

"Hey Steph," he started, cursing internally when his voice cracked a little. Stephanie smiled brightly.

"Hey Pixel! What's up?"

Pixel fidgeted, glanced away, and couldn't help but finger his compact wrist computer nervously. He wished he could just put it on a CD and give to her, but she didn't own a computer. It was almost tragic. He swallowed thickly.

"Well, um… I was just, you know, wondering if maybe… uh, you might want to, you know, hang out later maybe?" He almost started trembling with nervous energy. "Like, maybe go to dinner or something?"

Stephanie's eyes widened and she clutched her water bottle a little tightly. She smiled nervously.

"Y-yeah," she replied, her voice a little higher than normal. "That sounds good." Pixel smiled, relieved in one way but a million times more apprehensive in another.

"O-okay!" he managed. "Does… four sound good?"

"It sounds great."

"Okay! I'll see you then bye!" And with that, he ran straight back to his house. He sat in his room, staring blankly at the computer.

It felt like every operating system in his body was going into a critical failure. If he were a computer, he was sure there'd be warning alarms going off, telling him that if he didn't calm down, there'd be some serious malfunctions. But he wasn't, and he couldn't stop.

A grin spread across his face and he flung himself on his bed, messing the sheets up on purpose, just because he could, and laughing.

* * *

"You're _what_?"

Stephanie glared at Robbie for interrupting.

"Going to go have dinner with Pixel," she repeated. "If it's alright with Sportacus." She looked up at the elf with wide pleading eyes, a sweet little smile on her face. Robbie sneered. He knew that look, and he knew the stupid elf would cave.

"I guess so…" Sportacus said reluctantly, but he smiled when Stephanie hugged him thankfully.

"I'll be back before dark, promise!" she said. Sportacus nodded and watched her run off and out of the house. He sighed a little.

"… You're such a _girl_," Robbie said after a moment. Sportacus gave him a bored look.

"At least I don't scream like one," he retorted. Robbie's eyes got wide.

"Who are you and what have you done with the blue elf?" he accused. Sportacus rolled his eyes and grabbed an apple off the counter, biting into it.

"How much you wanna bet one of the two gets kissed tonight?" Robbie said suddenly. Sportacus choked and coughed for a minute.

"W-what?"

"_God_ you're naïve."

"They… they're too young to kiss!"

"She's thirteen. He's thirteen. Do you even _remember_ being thirteen?"

"Yes," Sportacus answered, looking troubled. "But I didn't… I didn't _kiss_ anyone!" Robbie looked at him disbelievingly.

"Yeah, but you thought about it, right?"

Sportacus felt heat rushing to his face.

"Ah-ha!" Robbie crowed. "The secret is out!"

"Robbie!" he protested. Robbie was too wound up to stop.

"Oooh, the dirty secrets the town hero keeps from everyone!" he giggled.

"There _are_ no-!"

"So, what was it?" Robbie asked, grinning broadly. "Do they have elf Playboys?"

"Wha?" Sportacus gave him an utterly confused look, which Robbie missed.

"Maybe it was a Play_girl_ though…" he mused, more to himself. Sportacus colored more, catching on to what he perceived as Robbie calling him a girl again.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" he finally said, chomping furiously on the nearly forgotten apple in his head. Robbie snapped out of his contemplations finally, only to narrow his eyes.

"… Have you ever even _seen_ a girl naked?"

Sportacus barely kept himself from choking again.

"Why do you ask such weird questions?" he accused. Robbie huffed.

"They are _not_ weird," he replied. "They're perfectly normal. What's not normal is _you_." Sportacus threw the apple core in the trash can out of frustration.

"Of course I thought about kissing!" he finally confessed, admitting to himself that Robbie wouldn't let up until he said _something_. "But what's a Playboy?" Robbie colored slightly at that.

"A bunch of naked pictures." he answered slowly. Sportacus looked confused.

"Like… photos? We didn't really have _cameras_ Robbie."

"Oh." He paused. "So, who was it you thought about kissing?" He grinned mischievously as Sportacus blushed again.

"A girl my age," he finally admitted. The grin on Robbie's face slipped a little, but he still looked amused.

"So you're bisexual then."

"Eh? What does that mean?"

"For the love of all things frosted, are you _that_ sheltered?"

"Hey!"

"I'm surprised you even knew what sex was!"

He stopped at how red the elf's face was getting.

"… You did know, didn't you?"

"Of course I did! I'm not stupid!" Sportacus said, a little sharply. "Sorry if I'm not as educated as you are." Robbie leaned back slightly.

"Hm. I guess. You grew up in some weird foreign elf-colony in the middle of nowhere and I grew up in a city. I guess it's to be expected. Hell, we might as well be Superman and Lex Luthor."

"Who?"

"Nevermind. So, you ever kiss her?"

Sportacus scratched the back of his head.

"No. Never really came up. Besides, I wanted to go out and help people. I can't get attached to someone if I'm going to leave."

"True," Robbie replied. He looked contemplative. "So then, how old were you when you first kissed?"

Sportacus got red again.

"Don't tell me you were 20-something," Robbie said.

Redder.

"Older?"

"Um…" Sportacus didn't look at him, and was smoothing out his mustache. "Thirty one."

Robbie bit back a mocking remark, and thought.

"Wait a… You said you were thirty six this year."

Sportacus nodded, twisting the ends of his mustache slightly, then smoothing it back out again.

"And you've been in Lazy Town for over five years now."

Nodded again.

Robbie felt air freeze in his lungs. That couldn't possibly mean what he thought it did. He bristled, angry suddenly.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me it was your first kiss?!" he yelled. Sportacus startled, finally looking at him.

"Because… because! I just didn't!"

"Damnit!" Robbie stood up suddenly and started pacing back and forth, one hand over his mouth. His face was mildly red, from embarrassment or anger Sportacus couldn't tell. After a minute, Robbie slumped back down again, turning redder and not looking at Sportacus.

"You could have told me," he muttered.

"It never came up."

"I meant when I-!" he cut himself off, looking angry. Sportacus sighed.

"You asked me to kiss you, so I did. It's not like you forced me."

Robbie only turned redder and shifted so he wasn't facing the elf.

"I wanted to," he continued, leaning forward and kissing the side of Robbie's face lightly. He finally got the lean man to glance at him from the corner of his eyes. Yep. The blushing was definitely from embarrassment.

"Stupid elf," he muttered. Sportacus grinned.

"Is someone feeling shy?" he teased. Robbie's eyes widened and he faced Sportacus.

"I am _not_ sh-"

Sportacus interrupted his rant by kissing him soundly on the mouth. After a minute or two of slow kissing, he broke away, feeling distinctly like he was floating.

"You're the only selfish decision I've ever made," he admitted quietly. Robbie was red again.

"Glad to know I'm special," he murmured shakily. Sportacus laughed and kissed him again. Robbie responded until he felt a hand slide up the front if his shirt. He broke the kiss, panting slightly.

"H-here?"

Sportacus tilted his head, thinking.

"Why not?"

"What if the pixie forgot something and comes running in?" Sportacus thought for a moment more before grinning and snapping his fingers. Robbie jumped a little as he heard all locks in the house simultaneously click and lock themselves. His eyes widened.

"Elf magic?" he asked as Sportacus nuzzled his neck.

"No," Sportacus responded flatly. "Sports trick."

Robbie's eyes widened further at the sarcasm and he started to ask yet again where Sportacus had gone to. He was interrupted by an extremely intimate touch that left him breathless, and so he let the accusation die before it was voiced.

* * *

Pixel was about to send himself into a nervous breakdown. His palms were sweating, his stomach tightened out of fear, and worst of all, he felt utterly naked without his head gear. Not only did it provide him with information on the state of his computer systems at all times, but it also provided a pretty convenient way to shield himself from the rest of the world. It was silly, but he felt better knowing he could at any time flip the goggles back over his eyes and block anyone from seeing him clearly.

But he took them off for Stephanie.

The pink haired girl was looking up at the menu above the counter. Pixel wished he could take her somewhere _nice_ to dinner… but they were both only thirteen years old, and he lacked money. Fast food restaurant it was. His heart skipped a beat when she turned to look at him with a bright smile.

"Did you decide what you want Pixel?" she asked. He fumbled, glancing at the menu. He wasn't particularly hungry.

"Y-yeah. Ready to order?" He took confidence in her enthusiastic nod and stepped up to order. He looked up at the person behind the counter, suddenly wishing he would hurry up and get taller.

"A cheeseburger with medium soda and-" he faltered, realizing he hadn't asked what Stephanie wanted. His body seized with panic and horror. What kind of guy was he, not remembering to ask?! He turned to Stephanie with wide eyes.

"A cheeseburger and fruit parfait with water," she reminded him, smiling it off. No big deal, it said. Pixel felt like he might melt into the floor. He turned back to the cashier and opened his mouth.

"Yeah," he managed to squeak. The cashier took pity on him and rang it up quickly, taking the money from the boy and placing the change back into his unresponsive hands. Poor kid looked like he was in shock. How cute.

Stephanie stepped in after that, taking Pixel by the arm and leading him over to a table to wait. Pixel sat down automatically and finally came out of his daze.

"S-s-so…" he managed, trying in vain to steady himself. "You like parfait?" Stupid. Stupid question. If she didn't like it why would she order it? Damn Pixel, pull it together!

"Yeah," Stephanie smiled. Again. He'd never get tired of that smile. "Do you?"

"O-oh." His brain felt like it was slow, like it was running too many programs at once. Answer, answer… "I've never tried one before…" Even admitting it felt like defeat.

But Stephanie nearly bounced up and down in her seat, gleeful.

"You can try some of mine!" she suggested.

Oh god. Wasn't that like indirectly kissing? Sharing food? Some distant voice in his mind was repeating: "Abort program." His mind shut down and his eyes got wide and glazed. Stephanie was watching him worriedly. Was it normal for boys to not respond like that? Or just normal for Pixel? Both were snapped out of their thoughts when their order number was called. Pixel snapped up.

"I got it!"

Stephanie watched him dash off to pick up the tray. He came back a moment later, carrying it carefully.

"Do you need help?" she asked. Pixel shook his head.

"I got it," he said, and slid the tray onto the table, taking his seat opposite Stephanie again.

"Thanks!" Stephanie chirped, unwrapping her food from its wrapper. Sportacus never liked fast food, so she hardly ever got to eat any. The stale stuff Robbie kept around didn't count either.

Pixel had to remind himself to not stare and eat his own food too. He didn't even taste it, though he ate as slowly as he could. More time eating, more time with Stephanie.

"So," Stephanie said, taking a drink. "Play any good video games lately Pixel?"

"Ah… some…" He swallowed dryly and gathered up what little confidence he possessed. "There's this really cool new one out. It has about ten thousand different levels and it's supposed to be _impossible_ to beat."

"I bet you'll beat it in record time then!" Stephanie laughed.

"If my entire system doesn't overheat and crash before then," Pixel said weakly, not referring to any computer. How come Stephanie's laugh was so nice? She believed in him, even if it _was_ only in his abilities as a hardcore gamer. It was something.

They chatted nervously back and forth until the parfait came into play. Stephanie unwrapped the plastic spoon and cracked open the lid to the dessert.

"Here," she said, pushing them over to Pixel. "You try it first, since you've ever had one before." He gulped again and shakily took the spoon, dipping it into the treat and then hesitantly placing it in his mouth. He smiled slightly around the spoon.

"'S good," he mumbled. Stephanie laughed and unwrapped another spoon, taking a scoop out of the parfait herself. Pixel quickly scooped out a large amount.

"Hey!" Stephanie laughed. "Don't take all of it!"

"Mmph," Pixel swallowed it. "Then it's a contest. Whoever gets the last bit wins, deal?"

"Deal!" They both grinned and battle ensued. By the time they got to the last bite, an idea struck Pixel and he purposely hesitated with his spoon. Stephanie gave a triumphant "ha!" and took the last bit, grinning as she gave the spoon a cleaning lick.

"I win!" she proclaimed. Pixel grinned back at her.

"Yep," he said. Stephanie glanced out of the window and saw the setting sun on the horizon. She bolted up from the seat and startled Pixel.

"I won!" she repeated. "So that means I get a prize, right?"

"O-oh," Pixel replied slowly. "I suppose." She smiled impishly at him and grabbed his hand, pulling him up.

"I know what I want! Follow me!" She led him out of the building and ran towards the highest point in town that wasn't a building, Pixel trailing behind her. She collapsed on the grass of the hill and laughed happily. Pixel cautiously sat next to her, confused.

"What does this have to do with your prize?"

She sat up and beamed at him.

"Close your eyes," she instructed. Pixel felt every single function in his body shut down, but his eyelids closed automatically, and he continued breathing, though shallowly. Was she going to kiss him? He'd short circuit every connection in his being if she did. Already he felt the overheating taking place. He swallowed dryly.

Stephanie placed both hands over his eyes.

"No peeking," she instructed. She tilted his head just so, and moved behind him, until the angle was perfect. Her heart was hammering in her chest from excitement. She slowly removed her hands and moved to the side to see his face but stay out of his line of sight. She wasn't oblivious to the way his eyes drew like super-magnets to her, and she didn't want anything distracting him.

She had won, but this was her gift to him.

"Okay," she whispered. "Stay still and open your eyes."

Pixel blinked his eyes open slowly, a little confused, but immediately halted. His eyes got wider.

Stephanie beamed at the look of wonder on his face. The sunset had struck her as beautiful when she glanced it from the window, but out here it was stunning. There was light cloud cover, so the sky was splashed with bright orange and yellow and red, with vague smatterings of purple and indigo. It really was breathtaking. And Pixel was left wondering why he had never seen the sun set before. They were both transfixed until the last of the glow died down, visiting other parts of the world. Stephanie found it a comforting thought that maybe somewhere far away there were people watching the sunrise even as they were here watching it set. They were sharing the sun, and it was a nice thought.

Pixel finally looked over at Stephanie, smiling shyly. She smiled back, glad that she had been able to share it, glad that she was able to show Pixel something new that he liked.

"You're prettier," he blurted out without thinking. He had never been good with words. Computers never required it. It was all data. The instant the words left his mouth he bit his tongue and cursed at himself in his head. Way to sound like an idiot. Great.

Stephanie felt heat rise to her face. It was disconcerting, because not moments before her face was warmed by the last rays of the sun, from the outside in. Now it was her own heat, working from the inside out. Confusing. Disorienting. Really kind of nice.

She smiled and grabbed his hand.

"I see the sun has gone down," an accented voice said above them. Stephanie startled, and Pixel slowly blanched. They both looked up and saw Sportacus standing behind them, hero-stance at full power with legs slightly apart, both hands on hips. The _only_ reassuring feature was the very slight smile that tugged at the corner of his lips, even as he was trying to look as stern as possible. It just wasn't going to work for the sports elf.

"Hello daddy," Stephanie squeaked. Sportacus tried his hardest to give her an unimpressed look.

"Don't 'daddy' me young lady," he admonished, wagging a finger at her reproachfully. "I know you're trying to butter me up. You said you'd be back before it got dark."

Stephanie fidgeted.

"It only got dark five seconds ago!"

"Five seconds late."

"… I love you?"

Sportacus cracked a smile finally, unable to hold it back any longer.

"Very cute," he admitted. She grinned triumphantly. "And devious. Robbie is rubbing off on you too much I think."

She pouted abruptly, not happy at all with the comparison.

"Back home, you," he instructed her, sending her off towards the house. He looked at Pixel. "And I'll walk you home Pixel."

Pixel had never been afraid of Sportacus, or even worried. Not once. But as he walked alongside the hero, he couldn't help but notice there were no acrobatic stunts, no flips. He was so scared he thought he might be sick.

None of this went unnoticed by Sportacus. If Pixel wasn't careful, he'd end up worrying himself sick, and that was the total _opposite_ of healthy, and Sportacus simply couldn't allow that.

Never mind that he rather liked the boy and didn't particularly mind Stephanie's interest in him. They reached Pixel's house and stopped in front of the door. Sportacus paused and put his hand on the boy's shoulder, leaning down.

"She likes jigsaw and logic puzzles," he said quickly. "The more complicated the better. When was your birthday again?"

Pixel told him the date, a little confused but rapidly catching on to the hint. Sportacus hummed a little and nodded.

"Alright," he finally said. "Fourteen, right?" He paused. "Two more years." Pixel blinked at him, more confused until Sportacus clarified.

"If anything _happens_ in less than two years…" he said airily, gazing up at the window to Pixel's room. He paused. "Huh. You know, Robbie likes machines. He's never worked with computers before. I'm not sure he knows how. He usually just… whacks at things with a large mallet."

Pixel shuddered slightly. He knew what was implied. It was a warning: wait until she's well into her teens before you even _think_ of kissing her, or else your gadgets will suffer the wrath of the only other technical genius in a hundred mile radius, equipped with a mallet and a destructive personality. Oh, he knew the warning all right.

He nodded once, and Sportacus smiled disarmingly and ruffled his hair very lightly in a fatherly manner.

"Goodnight Pixel."

"Night Sportacus."

* * *

"Sooooo, how'd it go?"

Stephanie glared at the man lounging on the couch, his hair damp from a shower and leaving wet spots on the fabric.

"None of your business," she huffed. Robbie grinned.

"So, he botched the kiss then? Or did elfy sense your impending deflowering and swoop in just in time?"

Stephanie turned red and threw her shoe at him. He yelped and ducked in time, the shoe sailing past him.

"HA! Your aim _sucks_!"

"And what have _you_ been doing?" Stephanie inquired, changing the subject. "You don't normally shower this early."

"Since when do you keep track of my personal habits, little miss nosy?" he shot back, but Stephanie caught the wary look in his eyes. She grinned this time.

"Ooooohhhhh," she said, much like a child who knew someone was in trouble. "Did you two need some _alone_ time?" Robbie turned three different colors and seemed torn between different reactions.

"Wha…" he started. His eyes narrowed as he decided on a reaction finally. "Where exactly did you learn that?" This time it was her turn to avert her eyes nervously.

"You're avoiding the answer," she muttered. She didn't want him to know she had been reading romance novels in the bookstore. That'd be embarrassing!

"Because it's none of your business," Robbie snapped back. He paused. "Unless you'd _like_ me to go into excruciating detail." Her eyes widened and she looked up at him. He _wouldn't_. He was grinning wickedly.

"Seeing as how your mind seems to already be harboring impure thoughts. Should I start where we were making out in the kitchen, or maybe when we ran out of hot water in the shower?" He was getting far too much enjoyment out of the look of horror on the girl's face. She finally found her voice.

"EWWWW!" she squealed, and clamped hands over her ears. "I'll never shower again!" Robbie started cackling gleefully, even going so far as to kick his feet in childish delight.

"That'll teach you!"

"What are you two arguing about now?"

Robbie leaned backwards until he was looking at Sportacus from an upside-down angle.

"You're back rather quick," he said. "Did poodle-head submit peacefully?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sportacus replied, watching Stephanie turn different colors. "Are you okay Stephanie?"

"Yes," she answered meekly. "I think I'll just… go to my room… and pretend I know absolutely nothing." Sportacus watched her walk off stiffly, confused, while Robbie tried to not giggle and failed miserably at it.

* * *

AN:

I like this chapter. Silly Pixel. So cute. And I know who went and imagined shower sex. I know.

The next couple of chapters are... odd. I'm going to apologize ahead of time for them, because I don't think they're quite up to the quality of the rest of the fic. It could be proof that I can only go so long writing fluff and humor before my brain starts to warp things. Reading it over... agh, Sportacus is so OOC. I might bite myself. But regardless, just giving you a headsup. After those, I'm going to be asking you guys for help. This story isn't finished, and I don't know how to finish it. I have ideas, but nothing that I've been able to develop. I'm going to be asking you guys for what you think should happen, and whatever I do end up choosing, I'll credit.

Okay, shout-out to Kelly Holden, who not only is writing friggen awesome LT fics at the moment, but actually has a fic called Baby Pictures, which deals with... transgenderism, I believe. I don't know the exact term for it. But it's awesome! Go read it! (It has elves too. ELVES!)

I love all the reviews guys, keep it coming! It helps remind me to post faster.


	10. Afraid

**Chapter 10: Afraid**

It was supposed to be an ordinary day.

Sportacus was up in his air ship, running routine maintenance.

"Pilot training sequence initiated," the computer's flat voice announced, and the clock started. Sportacus darted back and forth, turning wheels and pulling levers in a manner that would likely to have even left Robbie impressed, if only a little. He finished the sequence only a second earlier than usual, prompting the computer to congratulate him on a new record.

He stood upright from the hand stand and beamed, pleased with himself. At least he knew that age was not catching up with him, and likely wouldn't for a long time yet. He paused and turned his head to look out the front window, at Lazy Town, an introspective look on his face.

He wouldn't age for a long, long while. But that didn't mean the people he loved wouldn't.

He shook his head clear and continued putting the air ship through its paces, so to speak. It wouldn't do any good to worry about it, after all. He had always been one for enjoying the moment. There was no use in worrying about the future, not just yet.

Something went wrong in the wiring of his air ship and the entire thing jerked abruptly.

His head made direct contact with the wall, and he slid down it as the world faded from view.

Elsewhere, Robbie squirmed in his mid-afternoon sleep, feeling uneasy, as the shadow of the air ship passed over his underground home and continued drifting away.

* * *

"ROBBIE!"

Robbie jerked up from his chair, snorting out of sleep. He looked around frantically for a moment, wondering where the voice had come from.

"ROBBIE OPEN UP!"

There it was again. A shrill, definitely female voice, accompanied by loud banging against the metal tube that led into his lair. He groaned and got up from the chair, making the ascent to the surface. He grimaced at the banging before swinging open the lid.

"_What_?" he snapped.

"Where's Sportacus?!" Stephanie panted, her brown eyes wide. Robbie stopped, the sneer falling off his face. He looked up into the sky, about to point to the air ship and snidely remark that he couldn't have gotten _too_ far, but he stopped again, and his eyes got as wide as Stephanie's.

There wasn't an air ship anywhere in the sky.

He pressed down on the urge to start hyperventilating, though his hands trembled.

"I… don't know."

Stephanie was looking up at him with such a pleading, hopeful, desperate look that it physically hurt to look at her. He climbed out of the pipe and continued examining the sky, narrowing his eyes in hopes of spotting it, though he knew his eyesight was much less than perfect, working in the dark underground combined with handling small parts of machinery.

"Maybe it's just at too high of an altitude," he remarked, trying to reassure himself as much as Stephanie. "Or it's behind some clouds." He didn't remark that they both knew the sports elf hadn't used either trick in over two years. He didn't need to say it. Stephanie's face clouded up even as she tried to stay strong and not cry.

"I don't want him to be gone," she admitted quietly, sounding remarkably like the little girl she had been not so long ago. She hugged herself and rocked on her heels slightly. Her parents had left. Her uncle had left. Wasn't that enough? She couldn't take it if Sportacus disappeared too. Robbie was silent for a few moments while she sniffed back tears.

"Neither do I," he added solemnly, still staring at the sky, though he wasn't straining to try and see the air ship now.

He didn't need to. He felt it well enough. The sky was empty of elves.

He didn't let any of it show on his face or in his stance, but the knowledge was shredding him apart.

* * *

Sportacus groaned and rubbed his head, waking up slowly. He sat up gingerly, wincing a little at the pain in his skull. Sometimes, he thought, it sucked to be a hero in an air ship.

He got up with less than his usual amount of energy and looked around to survey the damage. Not much. Things had shifted around and there was sports candy littered all over the floor, (the apples were probably horribly bruised now, great) but everything was mostly okay. Except for his head, apparently. He gave it one last massage with his fingers before glancing out the large window in the front of the ship.

Oh hell. A city.

He groaned and tried to not linger on the memory of Stephanie's being kidnapped years ago.

"Location!" he called out to the computer. There was a garbled sound, full of static.

"That's wonderful," he sighed, feeling vaguely annoyed. Cities always affected his mood in bad ways. Pollution, corruption, the splitting headaches… a city was no place for an elf, and he knew it.

He examined the air ship once and was about to jump into the pilot's seat to peddle in what he felt was a northern direction. His computer was malfunctioning, but he could guess approximately which way was which, and how far he was away from what was his _first_ home. Ridiculously far, actually.

But that didn't matter, because abruptly his crystal went off.

He faltered, unable to stand the sharp sting the crystal's light accompanied. Either something really _was_ horribly wrong, or his crystal was being affected by this place. His crystal struggled through, and eventually brought him an image of the trouble: a woman being attacked. His heart jumped and he followed, almost absent-mindedly pushing he control that rendered the ship invisible before he leapt from the observation platform and through the smog into the city below.

* * *

Stephanie was a wreck. No amount of cajoling or attempts to cheer her up were working, so Pixel just sat next to her and held her trembling hand in his while Ziggy was curled up on the other side of her, as much in need of comfort as he was eager to give her some. Pixel turned on the television for her. He always felt better with something to distract him when he was upset, so maybe it would help Stephanie too. She didn't look at it, merely stared flatly at the floor in front of the couch, but Pixel felt better imagining she found some sort of comfort in the sound, at least.

He glanced back at Robbie, who was in the adjacent kitchen and pacing back and forth furiously. He'd probably lose another twenty pounds if he kept it up, Pixel thought. Sportacus would be upset at the loss of progress (he had been attempting to stuff Robbie with nutritious foods and get his body mass up to a healthy weight, and only recently had any progress been made) but… Sportacus wasn't here.

And there was no telling if he was coming back.

Pixel looked back and forth between the two. Stephanie was limp, dejected, like someone had cut the strings that animated her. He knew enough that losing another parental figure was one of her deepest darkest fears. And Robbie was still pacing, his face tight, obviously attempting to restrain the urge to lash out at anything and everything in his path. Pixel still didn't know a lot about Robbie, but he knew what Stephanie sometimes confided in him about. In between ranting about how _mean_ and _greedy_ Robbie was (but with the air of a frustrated sibling, he had noted) Stephanie sometimes talked about how good Robbie and Sportacus had been for each other. Pixel didn't see or understand it, and frankly didn't want to, but had patiently listened to Stephanie extol on how much happier Robbie had gotten, and how she knew that, secretly, Robbie would do anything for Sportacus.

Watching Stephanie sit on the couch, unable to summon any energy at all, and Robbie work himself into an increasingly chaotic frenzy…

Pixel hadn't ever hated Sportacus, but he hated him now.

* * *

"Aiiieee! Stop! STOP!"

Sportacus held back a cough, his lungs unaccustomed to city air, as he dashed forward to save the woman who was clinging to her purse with tenacity, wailing loud enough to put _Bessie_ off. He barely glanced at the other people he passed, and didn't spare them a thought after wondering, briefly, why no one was even looking at this poor woman.

He skidded to a halt next to them and snatched the purse up deftly from between them, pushing the would-be thief away with one hand, and watched him turn tail and run with a sort of grim satisfaction. There was a tugging on his sleeve and he looked down at the woman, beaming up at him.

"Oh thank you sir!" she exclaimed. Sportacus handed the purse back to her and grinned sheepishly like a little boy.

"It was no problem," he answered lightly. She continued to smile up at him and kept a firm grip on his arm. Perhaps too firm.

He didn't see the blow to the back of his head coming.

* * *

AN:

Crap, I'm sorry for the long wait guys! DX My bad. I had things going on, and then I couldn't decide how exactly to do this... crap, I'm sorry.

In the end, I decided to cut out a piece of the story that was in here... and really, it didn't fit in with the rest of the story, so it was a better idea to shave it off. I slapped them into the story months ago, trying to struggle through writer's block. You can tell when I get it, because my writing suffers tremendously. But still, I'm just letting you know that what I was talking about last chapter no longer applies. I skipped that, and here we are my loves. This is not going to be a quick thing like the incident in PBBS. Sportacus is out of commission- nothing is going to be _quick_.

It probably isn't as bad as most of you are thinking. Maybe. But... well, it does get slightly depressing. I spoiled the hell out of most of you by having this primarily be happy-fluff, up to this point. I think it sapped my creativity dry, doing it for that long. So this is my attempt at balance.

Keep in mind that this story is not finished. And also keep in mind that if _anyone_ has ideas for how to end it, or... any ideas at all really, share. _Please for the love of god share._

Yes. Once again, sorry for the extremely long wait, and I hope you guys enjoy this (as much as you can anyway, I guess?) and leave a review!


	11. Shapes of Things

**Chapter 11: Shapes of Things**

Pixel and Ziggy were asleep, one propped against Stephanie's shoulder, the other curled up, half against her other side and half in her lap. She stroked Ziggy's hair lightly and listened to Pixel's heavy breathing. It was comforting.

But not comforting enough.

She looked up slowly and stopped petting Ziggy when she heard a bang in the kitchen. Neither of the slumbering boys rose from sleep, but they stirred a little, and it allowed her to slip off the couch and pad her way quietly into the doorway of the kitchen.

Just in time to witness Robbie rip the microwave out of the wall and go at it with the fervor of a starving dog. Only this pup didn't use teeth and nails- his method of consumption was far more mechanical. He was rapidly dismantling the microwave with the help of a fork, plastic spatula, and a rubber frosting-smearing spatula. He appeared to be trying to mutate the microwave, because the longer he worked on it the less it looked like anything at all.

"Robbie?" she murmured, still standing by the doorway. He glanced up sharply, and she knew he wasn't in a friendly mood. "What are you doing?"

Robbie growled at her lowly, but she didn't move. She didn't even bat an eye, or make some sort of displeased face. He seethed internally. She reminded him of that damned animated ballerina, with no expression.

"None of your business," he snapped, and returned to the mess of wiring and kitchen appliance in front of him. It lacked much of the bite usually in his retorts.

Stephanie entered the kitchen and clambered up onto a stool and watched him. It was getting on his nerves, but he didn't say anything.

He would've been drunk by now, but the _of course_ the damn elf wouldn't keep any alcohol in his house.

Thinking about what Sportacus did and didn't do only made him angrier, and he snapped a wire.

Stephanie watched silently, leaning close. Robbie's movements became more frantic, and he started fumbling with the wires. Stephanie glanced up at his face to see him close to tears and trying as hard as he could to keep it all back, or at the very least ignore it. She glanced back at the mess that was left of the microwave and reached out quickly, snatching the fork from Robbie's hand and gutting the entire machine with one brutal swipe. Surveying the destroyed mess, she let the fork slip out of her hand and clatter tonelessly on the floor.

Robbie stared blankly at the ruined _thing_ and snorted. He leaned his head against the tile countertop and let his upper body slump across it, arms resting against the cold stone and hands upturned limply. What the hell was the point anymore?

Stephanie watched him carefully and glanced down at her chest after a minute. She lifted the gold chain around her neck and brought out a little golden charm from under her shirt, looking at it fondly. A little golden thing, a miniaturized version of the '10' case on her father's chest. She smiled a little at it and carefully reached behind her neck and unclasped it. She held the entire thing, charm and chain, in the palm of her hand for a moment before she placed it in Robbie's upturned hand.

He glanced up at the touch of warm metal in the center of his palm, and felt a small thrill go through him. He looked closely at it, debating whether or not to throw it or never let go of it. His heart tightened suddenly as another random wave of heartbrokenness crashed against him.

'Sportacus,' he thought sadly.

Stephanie's attention shot from Robbie's face to the bright glow emanating from the object in his palm.

"Robbie!"

"Shut up!"

A flash of something was streaming directly into his brain, and he didn't need her squealing distracting him.

Dark. Boxes. A form tied to a chair, and from the way it looked, it was a stripped-down man with a mustache. Sportacus. The scene pulled out quickly, and showed him more. Tall buildings, a touch of grime on all but the tallest. A slow river choked with the debris of society slid murkily by one edge of the city. Robbie inhaled sharply and the images slammed closed, and he was left with just the too-bright kitchen decked out in shades of blue and white. Stephanie's pink head popped into his field of vision, eyes bright for the first time all day.

"It glowed." she asserted.

"Pack your bags, pixie."

"Are we in trouble? Is that why it glowed? I don't want _you_ to be the next superhero-"

"Quit your yapping and get to it, shorty!" he snapped. He stood up and stalked into the next room, shaking one of the two boys awake and telling the carrot-headed obnoxious boy to house-sit. He _could_ do that much, couldn't he?

Pixel nodded, more dazed than anything else, and he was still dazed two hours later when Stephanie gave him a kiss on the cheek goodbye, threw a backpack on her shoulders and clambered up onto the noisy motorcycle behind Robbie Rotten.

As the two drove off into the distance, Pixel watching Stephanie wave until it got too indistinct to notice, only one thought made it out of the daze that had settled over the boy's sleep-deprived and confused brain.

_Since when did Robbie own a motorcycle?

* * *

_

Sportacus groaned and came to consciousness for the second time that day. It was getting ridiculous, he thought. And why did his head hurt so badly? Not to mention the rest of his body. He blinked open his eyes.

"Well!" a voice in the darkness said, sauntering forward. "Sleeping beauty woke up finally, eh? 'Bout time."

"Where…" Sportacus started. The woman in front of him wagged her finger back and forth at him and tsked.

"'Fraid we can't tell you that, sugar pie. We're waiting for the boss to come back from his rounds so we can get everything set in motion."

Sportacus blinked, feeling unsettled by the dimness in the room and by the feelings emanating from the people (and there were others, lounging around the room, on boxes and crates and battered furniture) and the woman in front of him, who was smiling in a leisurely way, one he wasn't used to seeing. Something was off…

He tried to raise his hand, on impulse, to groom his mustache, but found he couldn't move. He stiffened, eyes growing wide, and realized he couldn't move _anything_.

Like any self-respecting sports elf, he freaked out.

"Aw, shit!" the woman cursed as he thrashed against his restraints. "He's _feisty_! Shoulda known. EARL!" A man stood and handed her something, something Sportacus wasn't paying any attention to because he was far too busy trying to not panic. He could feel his muscles ache already. How long had he been knocked out and immobile? Oh, this was _so_ not good… His eyes widened when he sensed _it_ getting closer, and the blue orbs riveted on the object in the woman's hands.

The glint of the steel blade that flicked out was not what terrified him. It was the handle, ironically, that he prayed not get any closer to his skin.

Who makes knives with _iron_ handles anyway?!

The woman caught his look and smiled sweetly. She leaned in close, holding the edge of the blade against the skin of his thigh. He shuddered.

"Be a good boy," she commanded. Her voice took on a more motherly tone, if such a thing was possible. "I'm sure your family will pay good money for your safety, once we figure out who they are."

Someone in the background spat.

"What kinda asshole don't carry a stinkin' wallet anyway?"

"Shut up man!" another one replied, holding up something that seemed luminescent in the dim light. "Yer jus' sore I got the shiniest bit outta that little freakshow of a costume."

Sportacus nearly choked.

"My crystal!"

They ignored him, though his eyes memorized the man's face, even in such low lighting. He concentrated for an instant, and it was done. A very sloppy spell, but it would do. Anyone who tried to possess _his_ crystal would invariably develop boils across their face and down their back. Maybe that would be enough to deter them for a bit. He hoped it wouldn't have to manifest more than once- that would mean staying tied to a chair for more than two days, and by then he might well go insane from the lack of freedom of movement.

He felt dizzy and sick suddenly, his vision blurring and swimming.

'Oh,' he thought woozily. 'Maybe I should hold off on the magic.'

The woman was eyeing him speculatively.

"Bobby, get our guest something to drink. He's looking pale and sickly."

A cup of something was pressed against his lips, and he drank without thinking.

Shock thundered through his system and he slumped, head lolling back weakly as his mind got punted back into darkness.

"I guess he doesn't like soda?"

"Aw, hell. He better not be a diabetic."

* * *

AN:

Oh god it's been awhile, eh? Sorry sorry. School caught up and bit me, and I'll be busy for... the next week or so anyway. But I am sorry it took so long to update. I haven't even had time to read fan fiction lately. Thanks to a certain someone who prodded at me to update, or else I would've waited until another 2 weeks or so to update. Sorry sorry. DX

This part of the story is... odd. It doesn't fit in with the rest of the feeling of the story, and I don't like it. But I need the conflict or else I get... stale. The same thing happened in PBBS, when it took what _now_ seems like a little toe-dip into the pool of angstyness. Guh. Look at the thing now.

It gets worse before it gets better. -sigh-

Ah, explanations. Sportacus has been gone for over 24 hours at this point, possibly and likely longer than that. This is why everyone is shell-shocked. That and both Robbie and Stephanie have... _issues_, with abandonment. Stephanie has emotionally shut down, which shows something for how far she's matured in the time that has passed. Before, she would have immediately bawled herself sick and then unconscious. As it is, she's fulfilled the prophesy Sportacus thought of in PBBS; she's more mature than Robbie now. She forces him to stop compulsively creating/destroying things, and passes on the "elf charm" Sportacus gave her when she was afraid of being alone after she was the one missing. Yes, I'm repeating old patterns. I know them best.

I decided on a whim that the charm works as a kind of crystal in reverse. It has to do with feelings and magic and all that stuff. Elves are known to give magic books to the ones they love- it didn't seem too far of a stretch to make a magical link to a little necklace. Though I suppose it bordered on the edge of dwarvish, eh? Well too bad.

More about elves... I almost didn't want to use iron, because it's... cliche. And generally not in _elf_ folklore. Unless you count Fey as all... anyway, I needed certain precautions in place for Sportacus because if he snaps the ropes with his ungodly strength and just bounds outta there, I have no plot. The threat of iron reinforced with keeping him sedated (unwittingly on the part of his captors) with sugar seemed to be enough. For those who don't know, iron is something like burning poison.

While I'm making this an insanely long author's note, I might as well tell you I'm planning on taking a short break from LT fics after this one finishes up, in order to prevent being burned out. There's an itching between my shoulder blades that tells me I'm restless. But, I do have another LT story planned. Oh, it's sweet. So sweet. I'd have to give credit to Razoth though, because Razoth was the first person to use Norse mythology in a LT fic. Though what I'm planning is entirely different. _Oh_, Loki!

And done! Review please, even though I'm a horrible person for not updating sooner!


	12. Looking For Water

**Chapter 12: Looking For Water**

He kept having to shake the girl awake to keep her from falling off. There wasn't a hotel anywhere near, and the night was too cold to camp out.

'Besides,' Robbie thought to himself, taking a left turn in a fork in the road in the middle of nowhere. 'Sleeping on the ground when I was eighteen was one thing. Sleeping on it now won't do a thing for me.' He was already getting sore using this damned motorbike. He had kept it around as part trophy, part elaborate toy. He was a mechanic at heart of course, but more of an inventor than anything. The motorcycle was merely something he had kept around for something large and masculine to play with, and in case he ever needed to skip town faster than he could run.

How ironic that he had a half-grown brat on it with him and they were off to rescue that stupid blue elf. He rolled his eyes to himself, but focused on the road. He hadn't driven anything in a long time, save for heavy equipment, and he hadn't exactly been a pro at it before. Necessity is the mother of adaptability, was that it?

He shook Stephanie awake again when he felt her grip around his thin waist weakening.

"Almost there, little pixie," he said more to himself than her- the wind and motorcycle made it difficult to hear anything. "Hang on just ten more minutes, okay? He'll kill me if you fall off this thing."

Within ten minutes the lights of a large town, not quite a city, appeared over a rise and Robbie exhaled with relief. He was about to drop from exhaustion, and Stephanie was barely hanging on, shaking her awake or no. Another ten minutes had them parked at the side of an inn, Robbie dismounting shakily and barely managing to lift Stephanie off the bike and onto her feet. She stood under her own dazed power, thankfully, and followed him into the inn, looking half-dead and undoubtedly not very cognizant of where they were.

Luckily or unluckily, Robbie knew precisely where they were.

"Need a room," he told the sleepy receptionist. The woman blinked awake and took in the sight of the two of them. She smiled vaguely.

"For you and your lovely daughter. Certainly." She reached under the desk for the box of keys, talking to fill up the silence while she searched. Robbie didn't bother to correct her, and somewhere in his tired mind the lie was filed under "Possible Covers". Even exhausted and weak, he was _still_ the master of disguise. He idly signed the guestbook with two false names. He hoped the half-asleep girl swaying on her feet next to him wouldn't mind being called "Pixie Ten" by the staff. He thought it sounded appropriately hippy for the little lifestyle backstory he had whirring through his brain at the moment. And it was also relatively true.

"Been traveling far I see," the receptionist babbled. "Where to?"

He told her. She made a disapproving cluck.

"I hope you ain't going to live there! I hear bad things 'bout that city. Such a pretty young thing doesn't belong in that kind of city, you know? Can't be good for you either, if it's not saying too much."

He grunted noncommittally, and nodded. He had already determined that it might not be too much of a precaution to handcuff the girl to him once they got within the city limits. If only to make sure no one tried anything.

"Had a fella come through here… oh, _years_ ago," she continued, finding the box of keys at last (did they _never_ have customers?) and flipping it open. "Came from that city, he said." She snorted. "'Course, he also said he was rich, and started up a pharmaceutical business in town. Turned out to be just snake oil, but he up and left quicker than a fox with hounds on its tail."

Robbie took the room key from her, glancing away and murmuring something under his breath. They still remembered that? Did _nothing_ happen in this town that would wipe their memories clean of it, or was _everything_ from his past determined to track him down and gnaw at his ankles?

The woman smiled at him and told him breakfast was at ten o' clock, and he better get his daughter to bed before she slept on the floor. He escorted Stephanie up the stairs (an epic struggle in itself) and finally got them both into the room.

It smelled like flowers and he immediately hated it, but it was clean and quiet and he was tired. Stephanie zeroed in on the bed like a pillow-seeking missile and was out probably before she even felt the covers, and Robbie followed, managing to get his coat and shoes off before he collapsed on the opposite side of the bed, sprawled out and snoring deeply.

* * *

Robbie yawned widely and stretched. _Oh_ a bed felt good. Like heaven. Bliss. Quadruple chocolate cake. Only non-edible. He stretched again, popping a few joints, and his senses slowly came back to him. Sportacus was always quick, in everything, and that included sleep. He'd fall asleep in an instant, out like a light… but he would also snap awake and be at full energy from the instant he opened his eyes. It was almost like he was only _pretending_ to be asleep to humor everyone, and that if it were up to him he'd never slow down or hibernate- like he was quite capable of _never_ sleeping.

Of course, Robbie knew better, but after dealing with Sportacus and seeing his exact bedtime routine, it was almost creepy.

Robbie, conversely, was slow. Oh, if he was tired enough he'd snap asleep just the same, but otherwise he had to coax himself into it… one of the reasons why noisy children interfered. The same applied to waking up. Where Sportacus would snap his blue eyes open and cartwheel out of bed without so much as a misplaced step or rubbing sleep from his eyes, Robbie woke up piece by piece unless otherwise startled out of it. Consciousness first, then touch, hearing, and sight.

So, he was technically awake before he heard the sound of running water, but not by much.

He slowly opened his eyes, wondering to himself who the hell redecorated while he was asleep, and if Bessie had anything to do with it, because there was ugly floral print _everywhere_. Disgusting. He yawned widely again and slowly sat up while his memory came back to him. He popped his back in a couple places and glanced at the spot where Stephanie lay.

Or where she would have been laying, had she not been in the shower, and at that moment chosen to stroll out of the adjacent bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. _That_ shot every vestige of sleep out of him.

"What in the world are you _doing_," he groaned, closing his eyes again. Stephanie looked up and startled.

"Oh! You're awake! I was just getting clothes out of my bag. The lady came up earlier and said breakfast would start in about twenty minutes."

This was sounding far too much like a honeymoon morning-after for comfort.

"Hurry up and get dressed," he snapped, eyes still closed.

"Yeah yeah," she replied, rolling her eyes and grabbing clean clothes out of her backpack. "I don't see why it matters."

"Do you have _no_ sense of decency? I'm a man. And before your snippy little mouth mentions a damn thing about eyeshadow, I'll have you know it's _theater makeup_." Stephanie stifled a comeback.

"Well… it's not like I have a lot to worry about," she replied easily, trying to find a clean shirt in the backpack. Everything had gotten jumbled around. "I mean, you like Sportacus, so it's not like I'm a big temptation or anything."

Robbie barely held himself back from opening his eyes and strangling the little runt.

"I'm _bisexual_, you little brat," he ground out finally. "And I'd rather not see your ugly underdeveloped body flouncing about in a towel. Or anything less than five separate layers of clothing. _Ever_."

The only response was the click of the bathroom door as Stephanie retreated into it to dress. He opened his eyes.

"And if you used all the hot water there'll be _hell_ to pay, you hear me?!"

* * *

He was sick.

He had never been sick in his life, at least not like this. A case of sniffles or a cough when he was very young, but that was absolutely nothing compared to the utter hell _this_ felt like.

Everything ached. The sugar in his system was keeping him groggy even after he fought upward from the near-coma he had been shoved into and woken up after many long hours. Hours that had been spent completely immobile. It was wreaking havoc with his body, and if he wasn't feeling so horrible he would have panicked, iron or no iron.

How long? How long had he been there? He had no idea. There was no _sun_, and his senses had gone haywire some time ago. Damn cities.

He retched, and tasted bile.

His captors tried to feed him, but he kept his mouth firmly closed until they brought water, and gulped it down with relief. His stomach rolled, wanting more, but there was no way he was going to do even further damage to it by accepting the various forms of junk food they tried to feed him. He got hit a few times for his stubbornness, but not too hard. Bruises formed, but it was never enough to cause serious damage. They were still trying to find out if he had any family willing to pay for his safe return. Or, barring that, if there was any value in him at all.

Throughout it all, Sportacus conserved as much energy as he could, and waited.

* * *

AN:

Because there was a lull in my studies, and you guys deserved the quick update from having to wait so long for the last one.

Explanations... I like Robbie owning a motorcycle. I think he would keep one around, just to have it. That and as much I dislike the noise and smell of the things, the thought of him riding one is somehow appealing. I'm not sure why.

I have this whole little backstory laid out for Robbie, and I _think_ it's pretty clear, but I'm not sure. I kind of lifted the concept from the Glanni Glaeper play, though I have no idea _what_ Glanni was in the newspaper for. He was some kind of criminal, far as I can tell. So I figure he may as well have been a nomadic con artist. Undoubtedly, all civilization between the city and LazyTown have been cheated in some way. Robbie is a clever clever fox.

A bit more about Sportacus... thanks to Shinju, and whatever sources she used in her information-gathering about wisps and elves and _huldufolk_, I slapped Sportacus with a "can't be restrained for very long without deteriorating" disorder. He literally _has_ to move. He can sit still for an hour or two at most (he doesn't like it) but being physically lashed to a chair and drugged with sugar (remember, he doesn't recover until he eats sports candy, the sucrose is still in his system) would wreak holy hell with his body and energy levels. Also, I kind of like the idea of sunlight. I read once in my translated book of Norse myths, one of the gods (Freyr, I think?) referred to sunlight as "elf beams" (or was it rays? I'm too lazy/busy to look it up). But really I just like the idea of light-elves (which Sportacus is) deriving some kind of energy from the sun. Or maybe it's just extremely good for their mental health. They are nature spirits after all.

And for the record, I wake up like Robbie. Except without the numerous joint-poppings.

I'm taking my break to get some food and play Pokemon Diamond. I'll see you guys in a week or so, okay?


	13. I Wish You Were

**Chapter 13: I Wish You Were**

Finishing breakfast and paying for the room (in cash, he knew better than to leave a paper trail) Robbie ushered Stephanie outside and dragged her along with to purchase food at the grocery store in town. He ignored her questions about how he knew where everything was, and he also ignored her asking for the charm back so she could see. He pretty much ignored her as much as possible while making sure she stayed close to him.

Shopping done, they retrieved the motorcycle and climbed on, riding off in the direction of the city with a side-bag full of a mixture of candy bars and sports candy.

For as much as he loved sleeping, Robbie Rotten was surprisingly adept at _not_ sleeping. Stephanie had perfected the art of hanging on while slumbering (especially after Robbie pulled to the side of the road and lashed her onto the seat with rope), and a passenger didn't need to do much besides not fall off. The driver on the other hand needed to be awake and alert, and had been for the last 24 hours.

Stopping in another town was out of the question, at this rate. He knew that. There was a growing sense of unease tickling the back of his mind, urging him faster. He passed through the suburbs, the hair on his arms and the back of his neck raising the closer they got to the heart of the city. It was about dawn that Stephanie began stirring, snuggling briefly into the warm back in front of her and murmuring as her dreams faded away. Finally she yawned widely and stirred, grimacing at the soreness in her muscles as she tried to move. She tapped Robbie on the arm sleepily, and motioned toward a gas station.

She used the bathroom there and washed up while Robbie ate a donut and gulped down a soda at the counter. He didn't dare use the bathroom himself right now, because there was only one unisex room available, and using it would mean Stephanie would have to wait outside by herself. No way in hell that was happening, this close to the downtown. He was edgy enough as it was.

Stephanie finally came out, looking much more awake and alert. She followed Robbie outside, holding on to the bottom hem of his shirt. He had changed outfits rather dramatically after a shower in the inn, and barely looked recognizable. His hair was lank, falling into his face part of the time, and he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of beaten blue jeans. Stephanie figured if he weren't so old and not nearly so grumpy, she would develop a crush on him based on looks alone.

They relaxed next to the parked motorcycle, Stephanie stretching out sore muscles and Robbie just grimacing and slowly making sure everything in his legs still worked.

"Robbie?" Stephanie looked up. "Are we close now?"

"Yeah," he answered shortly. "We're close." Stephanie was quiet for a moment, drinking a bottle of orange juice from the store.

"I hope he's okay," she continued. "I… I can't think of what kept him from coming back. Maybe he got sick?"

She was looking up at him so hopefully he almost couldn't bear to say anything. Almost. He took the charm out from a pocket in his pants and fingering it. He had an idea of where the elf was. Just not a very precise one.

"He might be sick," he conceded. Stephanie stared at him for a moment.

"Did he get kidnapped?" she asked bluntly. Robbie nodded shortly. She appeared to think for a moment, then threw away the empty bottle of orange juice and swung up onto the motorcycle.

"Well what are you waiting for?" she asked Robbie. "Sportacus would have already saved us by now."

Robbie laughed shortly and took his seat in front of her with some difficulty.

"By now, he would have had either or both of us under lockdown and be glaring at random passerbys," he added.

"I'll take up the glaring if you focus on finding him," Stephanie replied.

"You're getting entirely too smart, young lady."

"Calling me 'young lady'? You _are_ getting old."

"Shut up and hold on, you brat."

* * *

"ROBBIE ROTTEN!"

Stephanie shrank backwards away from the door, eyes wide. Robbie winced, plastering a nervous, apologetic grin on his face for the sake of the large woman glaring at him from the building.

"What do you think you're doing, showing up here?" she yelled, smacking him in the head. "You just up and _disappear_ one day, not even a _note_, and show up all… all grown up and…" Here the woman broke down, her bottom lip trembling, and her large hands darted out and grabbed both of them and dragged them inside, shutting the door behind them. They were ushered into a shabby looking living room and pushed onto a tattered couch, disturbing three old cats and summoning a gaggle of children of various ages from another room. They seemed to pop out of the woodwork, peering from behind corners and blinking owlishly at the two strangers. Stephanie felt a little unsettled, seeing that not a few of them reminded her of Robbie on his bad days. Relatively vacant stares coupled with a general paleness and suspicion.

Robbie was smacked one more time on the head before he hissed at the woman.

"Enough, Pris!"

"It's _Miss Priscilla_ to you, you runty little thing!" she shot back. "Where do you get off coming back after all these years with no warning?" Stephanie watched silently, struck with how much she sounded like Robbie. Or Robbie sounded like her. She was an old lady, but she radiated spunk. Stephanie immediately liked her, but knew she wasn't one to be trifled with.

"Things came up," Robbie answered. "I'll make it up to you somehow, promise!" He flashed her a grin and Stephanie noticed it made him look a bit like a little kid. Priscilla softened a bit.

"Well, let me look at you at least," she ordered, standing him up and looking him up and down. She frowned.

"You still ain't getting enough to eat?" she asked disapprovingly. Robbie groaned.

"I eat fine!" he replied. "Everyone needs to stop harping on me about it!"

"Untwist your panties," Priscilla snapped back. Stephanie choked back a shocked laugh. "Well, at least your _vertical_ growth hasn't been stunted. Sweet jesus boy, how tall'd you get?"

"Six foot two," he muttered, picking at a loose thread on the shirt. "But listen, I have a favor to ask." Priscilla went from vaguely grandmotherish to all business in a snap second.

"Oh? And what'd that be? I have _enough_ mouths to feed, and I won't be picking up any more strays just 'cause you went and knocked up the first pretty girl you saw, you got that?"

Stephanie choked back more laughter and Robbie had enough dignity left to look put-off.

"The brat isn't _mine_," he ground out. "She's… a friend's. And I have to go bail his sorry ass out, but I can't take her with. I just need a few hours."

Priscilla leveled him with a look.

"I know you like getting into trouble Robert, but you watch yourself. I'll look after the girl, but you better damn well come back, you hear me?" She grabbed him and pulled him down to plant a sound kiss on the side of his face and embraced him, standing on he toes.

"Lookatya," she said affectionately. "All grown up and rescuing people. Never woulda guessed it. A right fine man." she let him go and he staggered back a bit, face red. "Now, get. I'll take care of her."

Robbie nodded shakily, glanced at Stephanie and ruffled her hair once, handing her the charm before he walked out.

Stephanie watched, the necklace clenched in her hand as she silently prayed over it.

'Make both of them come back safe. I want both of them to be safe. Please.'

Unseen, the charm flickered in her fist, and a half-conscious sports elf in a warehouse by the docks raised his head briefly.

* * *

AN:

I LIVE!

So then. A little bit of introspection, a little bit of Robbie's past. Not much is going to be revealed afterwards though. It moves alternately quickly and slowly. Priscilla is honestly the first name I could think of. She's a kind of neighborhood grandmother figure. She takes in "strays", that is, kids who need a place to stay for whatever reason for short amounts of time. She's a shrewd woman, quick with a tongue lashing. It's probably the only way she keeps a lot of the kids (Robbie too) in line and not running amok in her house. Stephanie makes the connection between Robbie and these kids, but she's too preoccupied at the moment to give it much thought. Robbie used to be one of those sharp-eyed skittish kids though. He still kind of is. His bristles just got brushed flat, is all.

Even though this story is supposed to be more about Stephanie, Robbie keeps stealing the spotlight. I give her more time in this than I did in PBBS, I think, but she's also more mature and grown up in this one, and not so unbalanced. It's easier to write her now.

I like it when Priscilla calls him "Robert". I think he must hate being called that.


	14. Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed

**Chapter 14: Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed**

Robbie left the motorbike a good distance away from his target. The noise of it would attract attention, and attention was the last thing needed.

Inexplicably, he knew what building the blue elf was in by means of a _feeling_, of all things. The building in question had a kind of aura about it that reminded him of the sports elf. Not that the building itself was anything like Sportacus- it was the opposite, if anything. Dingy and dirty and with palpable malice. It reminded him a little of home, come to think of it.

He smirked, sliding into the shadow of an adjacent building when a man came out of the warehouse, grumbling about damn women and damn stupid pricks who refuse to eat. Robbie grinned maliciously. It _had_ been awhile, a long while in fact, but he still knew his way around.

He swung a short 2x4 into the back of the man's head, and watched with grim satisfaction as he crumpled to the ground. Throwing the weapon to the side and brushing off his hands, he dragged his victim into the shadows again.

Moments later he emerged, disguised rather masterfully in the other man's clothes, his own stuffed into a messenger bag slung across his shoulder. It had been somewhat of a shock to find the sports elf's crystal in the back pocket of the man's ratty jeans, and the discovery was more than a little disconcerting. But he kept it in the pocket and pushed the thoughts of what might have happened to the back of his mind. He brushed the long jacket off, glad that it fit. A stroke of luck. He glanced back at the unconscious, bound, and gagged man slumped in between two shipping crates.

"Sorry," he murmured. "But you know how it is. Pleasant dreams," He saluted and turned towards the door the man had exited from, taking a deep breath and messing up his hair. He did a quick jog in place to make it seem as if he had run, then slipped into the building.

"MARK!"

He squeaked a little and cringed, nerves shaken, but an instant later he steeled himself again.

'Get it together. You need to make this work.'

An irate woman stormed up to him, eyes furious. Oh hell. He was never good with angry women. He swallowed thickly and tried to look as unthreatening as possible.

"I _told_ you to go and get more food!" she ranted, discreetly keeping her distance from him while still managing to make it seem like she was in his face.

'Clever,' a detached part of his mind noted. 'So this Mark can't lash out at her. The alpha? No, but close. She doesn't hold herself like a leader.'

"What the hell happened?" she continued. "If this sonofabitch kicks it because of your lazy ass and his damned stubbornness, _you're_ the one that's gonna pay, got it?"

"Th-there…" he started in his normal voice, then switched to something deeper, more full of gravel. "There's a big group outside," he continued. "I think it's those sorry bitches looking for a fight." If there was one thing to count on, it was that every group had some other group they hated. The woman's eyes widened, then narrowed.

"Shit!" she cursed. "How the hell'd they- never mind. Come on, get up you bastards! We have to go deal with some trespassers." Various people groaned, some whooped with delight, but they all got to their feet and grabbed their possessions, shuffling forward. The woman turned back to Robbie.

"_You_," she spit out. "Make sure that sorry idiot eats while we take care of this. If he's stubborn, you can beat him all you like, but for he love of god don't _kill_ him."

Robbie felt dread shiver up his spine, but he kept his poker face and nodded, grunting once in acknowledgement while the rest of them stormed out of the building, ready to get a fight.

As soon as the last one left, he whipped around and locked the door. It really wouldn't be long before they found out, and he had to work quickly.

Turning back around, he surveyed the room. Empty alcohol bottles, condoms, a lot of cigarette butts, some still glowing… worn out furniture with stains, a couple of knives left laying around… he snatched up the knives, pocketing them.

'Brings back memories, hm?' a snide voice in his mind reminded him. He told it to shut up and resumed his search.

"Sport?" he called out. Why did this place have to be so dim and hard to see in? "Stupid elf, where are you?" There was a quiet shifting somewhere in the far right corner of the place, and Robbie bolted towards it. As he got closer he could see clearer, and he finally stopped in front of the chair Sportacus was tied to. He almost wished it was so dark he couldn't see _anything_.

The elf had been stripped down to his underwear, and was shivering visibly. There were mottled bruises across his face, some on his arms and legs, but his torso seemed uninjured. His normally wavy hair was limp with sweat and dirt, and his eyes were rather glazed. Robbie kept back a threatening panic attack. He gathered up his nerves and used one of the knives he had picked up to quickly slice the rope holding Sportacus to the chair. He had to catch the elf as he slumped sideways, falling off the chair.

"Oh," Robbie grunted as he tried to carry him, arms looped under his and essentially dragging his limp form. "You're not supposed to be this light. Come on, _up_ you stupid elf! Walk! I know you hate it, but you're in no shape for flipping, so use your feet!"

Sportacus remained unresponsive, merely clinging to Robbie weakly while the tall man dragged him out of a back entrance, threw the long coat he had been wearing over Sportacus, and continued dragging him to the motorcycle. It was parked (and guarded by a raggedy looking kid he paid twenty dollars to) in an alley. As soon as the kid saw him, he ran forward and Robbie barely managed to fish out the bill while keeping hold of Sportacus. After that he was on his own.

Robbie set the elf down against the wall and crouched down next to him.

"Sport?" he asked quietly. He shook him a little. "Come on. Time to wake up. We have to get you back to Lazy Town, and you can't ride a bike all limp like that."

Sportacus roused slightly. His head lifted weakly and he blinked.

"Ro… Robbie?" he managed. Robbie winced. His voice sounded like sandpaper.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Ah…" Sportacus sighed. "I'm glad… I don't feel that great Robbie…"

"Yeah, I could tell." He reached into the messengers bag, and feeling around the change of clothes he had, pulled out a rather bruised apple. He held it to the elf's lips.

"Don't make me chew it for you," he remarked, half joking. Sportacus opened his mouth obediently, and with some difficulty bit through the skin and managed to get a small chunk of it out. He chewed it painfully slowly, but managed to swallow. He only felt slightly better for the effort, a shiver going through him. His eyes focused more.

"Robbie," he started, trying to stand and failing miserably. His muscles could have been oatmeal for all they were helpful. "My crystal… they took-"

"It's here," Robbie held the crystal in front of his face. Sportacus managed enough energy to snatch it and held it close to his chest, internally weeping with relief, but too tired to manifest it physically. Robbie pushed the apple against his mouth again and he took another hungry bite. Robbie waited until the apple was down to the core before he tossed it away and got anxious. He stood and quickly changed clothes, back in his jeans and shirt within less than a minute. He kneeled down again and pulled Sportacus up onto his feet. Sportacus swayed unsteadily, but managed to swing a leg up onto the motorcycle and stay seated while Robbie sat in front of him.

"Hold on tight, got it?" Robbie instructed. Sportacus nodded and leaned into Robbie's back, wrapping arms around him with a strong a grip as he could… which was about as weak as a baby, but as long as there were no sharp turns it would be fine. Robbie briefly squeezed his hand before revving up the bike. Sportacus growled in irritation at the smell and noise, and contented himself with burying his face in the back of Robbie's shirt, trying to ignore it. He felt horrible, but… not as horrible as he had been. He focused on tightening the muscles in his legs while Robbie weaved carefully in and out of traffic.

* * *

Stephanie had been sitting and intermittently laying on the couch for hours. Even after all the other kids went home (some of them reluctantly, she noticed), Robbie still hadn't returned. It was sending cold shivers up her spine, and she clutched the necklace charm so tightly it left a painful imprint in her palm. Priscilla was just handing her a cup of tea in a cracked mug when there was a loud "thud" at the door. Priscilla immediately stood and ambled over, peering through the peephole in the door for a moment.

"For heaven's sakes!" she exclaimed, immediately unlatching several locks and throwing the door open wide. "Get'n here!"

Stephanie peered curiously over the back of the sofa, tea forgotten. Robbie staggered into the building, dragging someone in a coat behind him. Stephanie bolted up from her seat and rushed him, one part relieved he came back safe and the other part wondering desperately where Sportacus was-

She skidded to a halt just a few feet away. Sportacus was trying to get to his feet, and she had caught a glimpse of the bright blue eyes, and now that she was close she could see the slight pointed tips of his ears… Stephanie took this in at the same moment she took in his highly weakened stance, dirty lank hair, and the bruises that peeked out from the jacket. He looked like he'd been through hell and back.

She started crying without being able to stop herself.

"Well, c'mon," Priscilla instructed, hefting Sportacus up much more easily than Robbie had been, and guiding him to the couch where they had just been seated. Sportacus murmured something that could have been thanks before he was forced to lay on the couch. His newly liberated limbs screamed in protest, but he was too tired to satiate them. Rebuilding lost muscle would be something he would do when his energy was back.

Stephanie followed, lost, while tears rolled down her face. When he was on the couch, his arm lolled off the edge and she sat on the floor and held onto his hand. She didn't dare hug him when he was so bruised. Sportacus cracked open an eye.

"Stephanie," he said with some difficulty.

'Still manages to sound happy through that,' Robbie thought while he ransacked the bag of food they had brought along. He finally pulled out an orange and proceeded to rip the peel off as best as he could, grimacing at the sticky juice running down his hands.

"You look horrible," Stephanie replied, her voice strained. Sportacus smiled wanly.

"I'll be fine," he reassured her, sounding half as tired as he felt. "Just need some sports candy, right?"

He watched Stephanie try to smile and succeed for half a second before she shuddered and started crying again.

"Don't…" she choked out. "Don't ever do that again!" And after that point she dissolved entirely and couldn't speak anymore. Robbie was suddenly leaning over the both of them and pressing a peeled orange section against the sports elf's lips.

"Eat it," he commanded. Sportacus did, though slowly. Robbie fed him another, and more pieces of fruit, low-quality though they were. "You're going to keep eating this crap until you're strong enough to take a shower," Robbie continued gruffly. "You reek."

"Sorry," Sportacus mumbled before a chunk of banana was shoved into his mouth. Robbie didn't reply, though he did stop after Sportacus began looking more bright-eyed than before. At that point Robbie noticed the distraught girl attached to Sportacus. He looked down.

"Pixie," he said, reverting back to the affectionate nickname. "You can let go now. He's not going anywhere."

Stephanie shook her head.

"I took all that trouble to get him back. You think I'm going to just let him flip right back out of sight? This is the most active I've been in _years_, and he's not going anywhere until I exact my revenge for that."

Sportacus cracked a genuine smile, feeling ten times better as his body started processing the food, and Stephanie reluctantly let go of his hand. Priscilla intervened then and turned on the television, sitting on another sofa with Stephanie (keeping her there more than participating, really) while Robbie managed to get Sportacus up on his feet with little difficulty and headed towards the bathroom.

Stephanie took the opportunity to wipe her eyes.

* * *

"Really Robbie, I can do it myself-"

"Shut the hell up."

Sportacus snapped his mouth closed, a little taken aback. Robbie hadn't _truly_ snapped at him in a long time, and Sportacus fidgeted on the bathroom linoleum, unsure of what to do. He glanced at the mirror and winced. He really did look horrible. He clutched the crystal in his hand a little tighter.

He paid attention again when Robbie turned on the facet to the shower and quickly peeled off the clothes he had on (and, Sportacus thought, if he hadn't been so tired he might have enjoyed witnessing it more) and blinked dully when Robbie started tugging off the long coat he was wearing.

"I can shower by myself Robbie, really, I feel better."

Robbie didn't respond and it made Sportacus anxious. He felt weak, weaker than even when he was in that warehouse, though not physically.

"R-Robbie?"

"Get in the shower," Robbie responded. He didn't wait for Sportacus to move on his own, and half pulled him into the stream of hot water. Sportacus shivered under it, watching as the water swirled off into the drain at an off color. Had he really been that dirty? He held his crystal out in the palm of his hand under the water and started to scrub it clean with his fingers. It made the hair on the back of his neck rise, thinking of those people touching it, and he wanted it clean first.

Robbie pushed his hair back away from his face and watched the sports elf for a minute before sighing and leaning against the cold, cracked tile wall.

Everything was only becoming clear to Robbie now. He hadn't actively thought about the possibility of not finding him until right then. Why did trauma wait for the calm moments to rear its head? It made no sense. Robbie laughed bitterly.

Sportacus looked up at the sound questioningly and set his crystal in the attached soap dish. His hair felt grimy.

"Robbie?" he questioned again. Robbie lifted his gaze from the floor to Sportacus.

"Nothing," he replied and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. "Your hair looks like crap."

"Y-yeah, I know," Sportacus laughed shortly, tilting his head back and letting the water soak it. He tried to move his head forward again, but his balance wasn't up to par yet- he got dizzy and staggered briefly before Robbie caught him.

"Sorry," Sportacus whispered above the running water. He didn't know why he felt he had to apologize. There was something gnawing at his mind, way in the back, and he couldn't figure it out. What was it?

He let Robbie wash his hair, falling into a more relaxed state while the long fingers massaged soap into his scalp. He didn't even move while Robbie took a washcloth and soap to the rest of him, scrubbing away what was left of the filth. When Robbie finished and removed his hands, Sportacus blinked open his eyes and realized what it was he was feeling.

He was scared.

It made no sense, considering that he was perfectly safe now, and nothing like that was going to happen again, but there it was, chewing away at his nerves: fear. Completely irrational and not needed at this point. Sportacus choked back a sob. He felt small and vulnerable, and it was terrifying. He felt lost. Was it this place? He desperately ached for fresh air and wide open spaces and sunlight. He wanted it so badly it hurt. Was that it?

Robbie caught him as he swayed on his feet, hands over his face.

"Sport?" he asked cautiously after a minute. The other man's shoulders hitched and Robbie's eyes widened. Oh hell. Why? Why more crying? When he had been ready to lay into the elf about being reckless and making Stephanie… making _him_ worry- why did he have to start crying _now_?

Sportacus shivered under the hot water, pressed against Robbie. He felt miserable, even though he should feel elated. His bruises ached, but he was free, right? He pressed his face against Robbie's skin and shook. He felt Robbie sigh, and drank in the feeling as Robbie finally lifted his arms and held him. Something in his mind prodded bitterly, _"Well, roles are reversed this time, aren't they? You're the one who can't even save himself now."_

Robbie jumped a little when Sportacus started openly crying and apologizing. He felt his lungs tighten, but viciously pushed the panic down. That's just what was needed, both of them incapacitated, one crying so much he couldn't see straight and barely walk, and the other hyperventilating. Wonderful.

"Hey," he said shakily, not moving while Sportacus was bawling weakly against his chest. "Stop crying. It's fine now… okay? Come on, don't… don't cry… damnit, stop…"

Sportacus eventually did stop, but didn't move. The water was getting cold, but he still clung to Robbie. He was twice as exhausted as before. Mentally, physically drained and wanting nothing more than to fall asleep safely. He certainly didn't want to move away from Robbie on account of cold water.

Eventually it was Robbie who moved, dragging the reluctant elf out of the shower and awkwardly drying him off with a towel while still holding on to him. He didn't even bother with the clothes, but wrapped a clean towel around him and managed to wrap one around himself (the elf_ still_ hadn't let go and he couldn't dress) and maneuvered them both into the adjoining room.

"Come on elf," he grunted tiredly. "You need to walk. I can't drag you the entire way."

"Right…" Sportacus whispered.

Robbie eventually kicked back the sheets on the lumpy bed in the room, and tried to pry Sportacus off and into it. Sportacus gasped and clung harder, and Robbie had to suck in a breath to keep from whimpering. Weak or not, he had probably left bruises in his desperation. Damn it.

"L-let go," Robbie said. Sportacus trembled.

"Don't leave."

"You're being unreasonable."

"You're tired," Sportacus asserted, looking up at him with pleading blue eyes. "I can feel it. You're tired. We're both… both tired. I just… I don't want… _please_ Robbie…"

Robbie's shivered.

"… For a little while," he conceded. It was true. He had been awake for two days now, and the amount of energy expended from dragging the elf around and concocting a plot… he was almost surprised that he hadn't dropped unconscious in the shower.

Then again, there had also been more important things to deal with at that time. Which was currently giving him a relieved look and a weak smile. He really did look like he was about to fall asleep on his feet.

Robbie sighed resignedly and dragged Sportacus down onto the bed with him. Sportacus landed with a soft grunt as it jarred against his bruises, but Robbie was swiftly falling asleep the instant he hit a soft surface.

Sportacus smiled a little when Robbie started snoring. He yawned himself, wincing at the soreness in his face from the bruising, but curled up against Robbie comfortably and closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

Everything was okay. He repeated it in his head until his body accepted it, and felt the welcome softness of the mattress, the smell of soap, the extra bit of warmth radiating off of Robbie as he slept… a quiet wave of darkness overtook his mind.

* * *

AN:

I could have broken this chapter in two, but... it didn't feel right. So you guys get a big chunk.

I've said before (I think) that I'm not entirely happy with this fic, this part in particular. It doesn't have the same impact as the first, and the flow is all off. I'd like to think the quality of writing has improved from the first, but hell, I don't know. Another problem I'm having is the motivation to write it, and where exactly to take it next. I have an unfinished chapter after this one (this one being the climax and all) and it will more than likely be the last. Because that's the way it's being written currently. It smells of end chapter. So is this the second to last? Yeah, probably.

I have another side-story I kind of pick at from time to time... where our merry crew goes on a road trip (airship trip?) to see Sporty's parents. I'm pretty confidant I can portray them as something that hasn't been used before. It'll be cool. And also hilarious.

Alright, this chapter was... difficult. And maybe hard to understand. Robbie, now that he's got Sportacus right in front of him and knows he's not going to die in the next few minutes, is royally pissed at him. For a multitude of things. Some of them selfish. Making Robbie rescue him, inconveniencing him, making him come back to a city he despises... etc. But mostly he's pissed at Sportacus for endangering himself. It's ironic, given that Robbie lectured Stephanie in PBBS about Sportacus being a hero, and now Robbie is the one chafing against it. For different reasons, but still.

Stephanie is still upset, and _allowing_ herself to be upset instead of repressing it like she may have done before.

Sportacus is pretty much in delayed shock. Just because he's a hero doesn't mean he wasn't afraid and lonely during that time. He just didn't feel it until he was safe.

I'm pretty sure that's a medical/psychological condition, but I don't recall the name. Something about disasters or crisis. Post traumatic stress? Something like that. None of them were focusing on anything except for being safe and alive and together, and suddenly they were and the rest of it caught up with them. All the tenseness drained out of the story.

Anyway, this chapter is for LittleStephanie and Lily-TehGoggiFangirl. The first for making a fic whose title made me squeal so loudly I startled my parakeet, and the second for confusing me with MyaRukawa. I'd explode if I had that much artistic talent. I can't draw like that for my life!

And for Mya, too. :3 She drew a fantastic cover for PBBS on DevArt. I'll put up a link in my LJ later on.

It might be awhile to the next chapter. Sorry.


	15. Heroes

**Heroes**

It took a solid week for Sportacus to be up to par with his health, even after they had managed to navigate back to Lazy Town, after finding an _invisible airship_, after nearly dragging around a sickly elf (who still weighed a good deal) across half the city in order to _find_ said airship.

But he recovered.

And Robbie succeeded in one of his oft-thwarted plots; he managed to utterly trash the air ship.

Sportacus was not a happy hero, and Robbie didn't give a damn.

"I swear Sportacus, if you try to fix the damned thing I'll tie you to a chair _myself_."

"How exactly am I supposed to save people now then? Robbie, I need my ship!"

Robbie made a sound like an angry cat, and straightened to his full height in an attempt at intimidation.

"Did you forget that it was that ship that nearly _got you killed_?"

"Robbie that's not fair and you know it!"

"_NOT FAIR?!_" he screeched, eyes blazing. Sportacus stood his ground, used to Robbie's tantrums by now and set to ride this one out.

"Not fair?!" Robbie repeated, hands clenching and unclenching as he barely held himself back from pacing around the room and giving in to his destructive tendencies. "_You're_ saying it's not fair? What do you know about fairness?! Do you have _any_ idea what we went through? Any idea at all, you selfish bastard?"

Sportacus stepped backwards slightly, warding off the sharp sting that felt like his heart had been gouged from his chest, still beating. Oh, that _did_ sting.

"I..." he was unable to finish the thought, and there were several moments of tense silence. Robbie let his hands relax at the same time he ground his teeth in frustration. The tall man flung himself to the ground and sat, elbows on knees, and glowered at the air.

"You know how hard it is to be so happy and so pissed off at the same time?" he continued sulkily, muttering. "You just _disappeared_, no warning at all, and here we were, two helpless little humans without any way to find you and even then..." Robbie paused and seemed to shiver a little.

"First I think it's okay, try not to _completely_ break down, I'll just wait a couple of hours, he's probably spotted a puppy with a limp somewhere out in the middle of nowhere and went to go swoop in for the rescue and doggy biscuit, he'll be back ... but then hours pass and you _didn't_ come back, and the pink pixie is so worried she's sick, so _I_ can't be sick or else we're all screwed, and all I want to do is smash something and then sit in a dark room by myself until it _stops hurting_."

Robbie blinked and came out of his remembering, staring at Sportacus reproachfully.

"Do you have any idea how lucky I am that I found you?" Robbie rasped out. "You could have _died_."

Sportacus swallowed back emotion and carefully knelt in front of Robbie, who was still leveling him with a cautious glare. Sportacus made sure to look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry," he said after a moment. "I'm sorry you had to go through that too. But I'm a hero, and sometimes things happen and I can't-"

"Maybe I don't want you to be a hero!" Robbie interrupted. Sportacus blinked, taken aback for a second, but smiled sadly at Robbie.

"Robbie, you've _always_ wanted that," he chided. Robbie looked ready to bite him.

"No, I always wanted you _gone_ because you were annoyingly happy and wanted to interfere in my life," Robbie corrected shortly. Sportacus only smiled more, which made Robbie briefly consider strangling him.

"Yet when I disappear, you work like crazy to bring me back so I can _interfere_ some more," Sportacus teased. He poked Robbie's forearm gently. "Is that a muscle I see?"

Robbie scowled and slapped his hand away. "You're like a fungus. Can't seem to get rid of you. And besides... I already know you. Couldn't have some uppity newbie wannabe-hero come trouncing into town disturbing the peace. I already have _you_ trained so well."

Sportacus grinned then and Robbie took notice of just how the afternoon sunlight seemed to love the wisps of gold hair that stuck out from under his hat almost as much as Robbie did, highlighting them brightly. He groaned.

"How am I supposed to stay mad at you when you look like that?" Robbie asked. Sportacus frowned slightly and tilted his head.

"Look like what?" he asked, and looked down at himself curiously. He was startled but happy when Robbie laughed for the first time since he had returned to Lazy Town.

"Well," Sportacus continued easily, rocking back and forth on his heels a little even while crouched down. "You can't say you hate me being a hero, you know."

"I can too," Robbie snapped back. "But I'll humor your inane logic for now. Why can't I, then?" Sportacus grinned widely, and a little mischievously .

"Because," he said with conviction. "You saved me, after all. That makes you _my_ hero."

Robbie stared blankly for nearly a minute. Sportacus fidgeted and a corner of Robbie's mouth twitched.

"... You do of course realize that was the corniest thing I have _ever_ heard you say," Robbie said flatly. Sportacus scowled slightly in confusion.

"It was _not_," he defended.

"It was," Robbie countered.

"It was romantic! You just don't want to admit it!"

Robbie finally broke down in a fit of laughter, and Sportacus pouted about it until Robbie grabbed him and pushed him to the ground, grinning down at him. The sports elf's stomach flipped. He prayed Robbie smiled more often. Even after all of this time, he still didn't get Robbie smiling enough to be content. Hadn't he wished for this same thing a long time ago too?

"Stop that," Robbie's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"What?" he asked.

"Thinking," Robbie replied. "I can see smoke coming out of your ears already."

Sportacus scoffed at him and rolled, easily dislodging Robbie and rolling on top of him. Unfortunately, before Sportacus could stabilize himself, Robbie used the momentum and kept rolling, until they were in the original position with Robbie on top again.

"Ha!" Robbie crowed. "Got you beat."

"Who knew?" Sportacus mused. "Beaten in physical combat by Robbie Rotten. I'll have to turn in my hero outfit." Robbie smacked him in the chest.

"Damn straight. And after that I'll have to drag you down into my lair like a helpless fly in my web and you'll be at my complete mercy."

Sportacus fell silent, and it took Robbie's mind a moment to catch up. When it did, he grit his teeth and hissed.

"Damn it," he muttered, and moved off of Sportacus, sitting up next to him. "I screwed it up."

"No, it's fine," Sportacus answered, sitting up as well and looking at Robbie. Robbie was determinedly not returning the gaze. "I trust you, remember?" Robbie shivered.

"That's a lot to put on me, you know that?" Robbie muttered. Sportacus leaned against him, head resting against the taller man's shoulder.

"I have confidence in you Robbie," he said with easy conviction. Robbie shifted, uncomfortable with the sentiment and with the warmth that stubbornly settled in his gut. Inexplicably, his mind wandered, seemingly using that unsettling feeling as a trigger, and shot off into what-ifs.

What if Sportacus _stopped_?

He was assaulted with a vision of Sportacus depressed and sullen, lounging on the couch (in _his_ spot, no less) poking sulkily at an unopened bottle of water and twirling it, bored out of his tiny mind. And it suddenly occurred to Robbie- what exactly would he _do_ with a house-bound sports elf? Lightning fast, various possibilities flashed through his mind.

There was always sex. It was a nice thought initially, but then he recalled exactly how much excess energy Sportacus had. And in his particularly hyperactive moments, the elf had been known to get... _mischievous._ An aroused, mischievous, hyperactive, and _bored_ man with magic to fling about was a recipe for disaster. And also a recipe for the end of Robbie's sanity. Well, truthfully, the magic bit was usually okay... if, say, Sportacus used that invisible body trick again...

Sportacus watched Robbie's eyes glaze over in thought, and coughed lightly when after a few moments the other man started grinning, _that way_.

"Stop that," he chided jokingly. Robbie blinked, coming out of it and shaking his head.

"Stop what?"

"Thinking about that."

"You can read minds now?"

"Just yours."

"Figures."

They fell into companionable silence again, and Robbie slipped back into thought. After another minute or so had passed, he inhaled deeply and stood, leaving Sportacus to catch himself.

"Alright!" Robbie proclaimed, puffing out his chest. "I decided." Sportacus remained seated on the floor, looking up at him and humoring his love's eccentricities for the moment. Robbie continued, unaware.

"You," he pointed at Sportacus dramatically, and Sportacus just smiled slightly. "Can keep being a hero. BUT!" The elf didn't even flinch. "You have to stay in town, with no air ship."

"Robbie, really-"

"Your stupid legs can run fast enough!" Robbie protested, sounding more like a child arguing with their sibling than the Proclaimer of mere seconds ago. "You can get to any trouble just fast enough! You don't need the stupid ship!" Sportacus finally sighed.

"Alright then. Deal."

Robbie grinned in a shifty, half-nervous way that made Sportacus take attention.

"_Robbie_," he lowered his voice a bit, half teasing and half warning. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Robbie squeaked back, eyes glancing at escape routes. "Just thinking... you know... how you made the right choice and all..."

Sportacus gave him a suspicious look, but tried to push the thought away. He stood as well, brushing himself off and stretching.

"Well then," he started. "Now that that's done, I need to go salvage some parts from the ship." Robbie grimaced. Sportacus stopped in his tracks.

"Robbie..."

"You may have trouble... erm, _finding_ any parts."

Sportacus stared.

"... unless perhaps you rummaged through my furnace."

"You... you completely dismantled it."

"... Well, yeah."

Robbie continued grinning nervously at the elf for a moment more, until Sportacus held up three fingers, and slowly lowered one.

3... 2... 1

"GottagocheckonStephaniebye!"

* * *

Stephanie looked up from her basketball dribbling.

"Guys?" she asked. "Do you hear that?" The other kids paused what they were doing and listened.

"It sounds like a siren," Ziggy provided.

"Sounds like it's getting closer," Stingy added.

"Do you think it's a cop car?" Trixie asked, eyeing nearby flora to gauge whether it was suitable for hiding in or not.

"I think-" Pixel started, but got cut off when, crashing through (and over) a neatly grouped set of trashcans, Robbie Rotten came screeching by, running as if the hounds of hell were snapping at his skinny legs and screaming as if they were hitting their intended target. The sound faded as he got further from the courtyard where they had been playing. A sort of stunned silence fell over the group, unbroken even when Sportacus strolled casually by and waved at Stephanie before continuing in the direction that Robbie had gone. When he was also gone, Trixie rubbed her eyes.

"I don't want to know," she muttered.

"You don't have to live with them," Stephanie groaned.

There was a particularly loud, strangled yelp from off in the distance, and they hurriedly went back to their game.

* * *

AN:

How long did it take to finish this? Forever. Sorry to keep my loves waiting! The LT community went into hibernation over the summer, especially when Shinju got distracted and our LJ comm was temporarily closed. It doesn't help that we don't have new episodes to talk about.

I hope everything in this chapter was clear enough. It all made sense in my head, really.

I've been terribly distracted by the Transformers movie that just came out, and it consumed the bits of soul that LazyTown had not gnawed upon already. Starscream yesplease. Am I working on a fic for that fandom... sadly yes. _Wrrrrry_.

Thank you all for reading this series. You don't know how much I loved writing it, how much I loved the reviews, and the fan art (Kami and Mya, I'm lookin' at ya!) and the nomination for best LT fic (I totally saw that), and just everything about this. I feel like I did something no one else did with LT slash fiction, and if my reviewers are to be believed, I did it well. This is partially why the ending took so long to write. Ending something like this is difficult and frustrating. How do you wrap up a series that has a timeline that could stretch into infinity? How do you end something that took up your entire freshman year in college?

I hope I ended it well for you all.

Thank you.


End file.
